This is not football talk – although I did hear that Indianapolis would have actually won a game had not Manning thrown two interceptions and should probable take a knee in prayer. Oooh, long sort of sarcastic digression there. Sorry.

I was headed out through the back vestibule when I felt my foot catch on something and the next thing I knew my knee was slamming into concrete and my upper body was somewhat cushioned by the vestibule woodpile that gave way in an avalanche with me on top as I hit.

It was exciting. Turned out my foot had slid into an almost empty 12 pack soda box. It was sort of being struck by a big clown foot attack.

But since I was on my way to pick up Sydney who was at the vet’s not for boarding, but suspected pancreatitis, I shook it off and limped* on. And, yes, his enzymes were up – the blood tests from the day before confirmed it. He has had a new antibiotic shot that is effective for 14 days and was bathed and sent home with a vial of tramadol pain pills.

You have to be careful with an older dog; they don’t look like they are that old and it is tempting to just do what you normally did when they were feeling their oats  – sort of like Shane is now. I wanted to spiff him up here at home with a fire in the den for warm drying.  But you can’t just manhandle him the way we pin Shane to the floor. So he got super clean at the vet’s. (I have this thing that if you are clean you feel better – although I think it is mainly true in minor illnesses.)

I brought him home and he lay at the end of the sofa and I combed out any loose hair; he looks soft and cuddly. He’ll go in on Friday for a recheck of his belly and then next week we’ll recheck the enzymes.

Putting  the old red and black penguin sweater to good use.

I am going to try very hard to get a wreath over to Mrs. Feller’s today; I may just take the angel wreath I made last year with a few festive colors thrown in. I don’t know – I’ll play it by ear. To tell you the truth, there are a lot of Wal-Mart type wreaths on doors there and while it is nice that someone is remembering, I just like doing something with my own hands.

Now I feel bad about typing that, but I’m not going to withdraw it because, well, heck. it’s me. I have to stop and realize that maybe someone stood for 30 minutes selecting just the right wreath. I guess I like making the wreath because of what I get from it; the thoughts while the little wires are being twisted on – or the grapevine is going berserk and trying to uncoil itself.

I guess, too, I feel that when someone sees a special homemade wreath on someone’s door, they immediately know that someone put effort into it for that resident.

Maybe what I should realize is that I can do this wreath thing; I have imagination and can pull it off with nutcrackers and elves and bells and angels and holly. For me, to get a Wal-Mart wreath would be saying I don’t want to do what I can do because it will take too much of my time. I need to realize that some people don’t have a clue as to doing it and buying one may have just as much thought and effort involved.

I could just delete this whole thing, but sometimes a public self-lecture isn’t a real bad thing. Probably I wouldn’t want to say publicly,  “Now, AmeliaJake, you should take back that million dollars you stole from the bank while wearing a Raggedy Ann mask.” That would be something to deal with privately, or at least speak about hypothetically.

* My leg is a limb; maybe if you are not hurt, you limb on. But when the “b” takes a tumble, you limp on. You know, this could be a long day for the people around me . . . One of those, have you ever considered (fill in the blank with something absurb) days.

Ah, yes, perhaps these pictures will take AP’s mind off the rest stop incident, which, of course, definitely did not happen. So there is no reason to mention the one-armed trucker with the flashlight shining right in my face.

Okay, let’s see, well, first we went to eat at Red Robin because it was a special treat, dontcha know. I couldn’t take a picture of Cameron that works for this post because he was sitting right beside me, but across the table were these two bozozs:

On the other side of me was the outdoor eating area; I believe it was where Der Bingle’s friends ate when on lunchtime from their mall gig. I forgot to upload the picture but will add it in later. (Okay, it is later)

They had a fun-filled festive job.

I took a picture from above.

And then zoomed in on the tree.

While I was doing this, I lost contact will my group and wandered around until they spied me from above.

And when I got back in Der Bingle’s car, I noticed a relic from the weekend past – sort of a Shane version of Kilroy was Here.

It was a dark night as we entered the cobbled together and always being worked on I-75 area just at Dayton’s northern outskirts; traffic was heavy. Der Bingle had instructed us to take the Stanley exit, but the GPS said the 4 North exit and Summer and I decided to go for the latter.  Then more orange barrels and guess what? We missed the exit and wound up going across the river and into the part of I-75 that runs along the downtown. We took an exit where I had some idea of being able to remedy our situation while the GPS lady had repeated seizures. When I reached a point of turning around, I pulled into a lot where our headlight illuminated one of the big old rambling houses of the early days of Dayton. Simmer thought it was a drug house but I drew her attention to the view out my window, which was of a parking lot full of police cars.

We got back on I-75 and threaded our way through more orange barrels until we reached an exit that would deliver us ultimately to Highway 444 and then Kauffman Road and then National Road and then Reese Road and the then the place where apartment complexes run together. Summer was a little worried but Cameron and I had the thought she could stand out in the street and yell “Grandpa” as in “Stella” – she didn’t get it.

Oh, did I forget to mention that we had Der Bingles’s replacement and already activated cell phone and had we called for directions, his phone would have rung in the glove compartment right in front of Summer. This did not comfort her.

I did get to the right spot, however, and when Der Bingle came out to meet us, she grabbed onto him for dear life. We went in and ordered Cousin Vinnie’s Pizza – a tradition for us. And then people started watching Mystery Theater 3000 on Der Bingle’s new Apple TV enabled on his TV screen.

I think I went to bed.

Stay tuned for updates.

First: That part about the Mystery Person Refugee taking pictures of us looming over her, well, box, in order to make her more comfortable. We lied. The Alien Tree* made us. She did have a camera and was going to photograph us, but Rose noticed it was digital and said, “But, dear, you have no film.” And she said, “Oh, rats.” (The Alien Tree made us add that bit also.)

SO . . . today. Ah, today we are going to Dayton to see Der Bingle and take part in a shooting class. We are taking a small artificial alpine-type tree for him in our car trunk. I could say The Alien Tree made me add a Sponge Bob ornament left over from Summer’s Sponge Bob days, but it was my own idea. I found it clinging to one of the miniature Pilgrim ornaments; it must have been an eclectic theme that year.

We will get there after dark which means the opportunity for me to maintain my record of getting lost in a town in which I used to live for a good number of years is greatly enhanced. Now, here’s another rub: We will be bringing Der Bingle’s cell phone which he had to leave here while Radio Shack gave him a loaner. The vital piece of information is that I have his memory chip and will take it when I retrieve the replaced phone. Will this then activate the phone I will have with me and deactivate the phone he has? Will there be two phones with the same number covered for a few hours?

If it is the former, we will not be able to call him because he will not have a working cell phone and had his landline removed. So it will be just me and my GPS and people yelling, “Grandma’s lost again!”

*What if The Alien Tree won’t let us take it down? Maybe it will make us transfer its alien essence to the rhododendron.

So, Rose and I and Sophie and MaxWoo and a couple of others were gathered around our mystery person’s Refugee Transport Unit, peering in at said MPR. (Mystery Person Refugee). Yes, we all were looming over it and then we heard a voice from within, “What the heck are you guys doing?”

We all leaned back and, after a beat or two of our combined heartfelt concern, Rose answered, “Well, we thought we would make you more comfortable.”

From the RTU we heard, “I’m fine; I’m comfortable; let’s get this show on the road.”

This led to an exchange of views about the comfort of having strong plastic ties around body parts holding said parts to a big old piece of hard cardboard.

The MPR (yes, Der Bingle, I know you are confused; we will explain soon) convinced us the straps would keep her from sustaining broken limbs and a fractured skull during her journey. She was fairly persuasive and even provided videos of boxes being tossed through the air, down chutes and turned every which way but up.

So, Rose and I told the  MPR she should let us cut a small access door in the plastic bubble to allow us to add some things.

ARE YOU BOZOS CRAZY??? THAT WILL GREATLY REDUCE THE INTEGRITY OF MY PROTECTIVE CASE!!!!

We are thinking she probably knows best and will just add some scenery other than the inside of a shipping box for her to look at.

And Sophie asked, “So . . . can we still use my bubble wrap?”

Oh, by the way, the MPR had a camera and we are expecting her to send us some photos from her perspective of our encounter just as soon as she powers up the Internet Server part of her brain.

Rose and I are preparing a shipment to go out for Christmas. Already we are having fun with it. We have told the folks here at the Peanut Butter Cafe & Roadhouse that we will commandeering a table to get it ready. It involves  someone being mailed way across a chunk of the country to a new home and Rose has made the comment, “Now, AJ, we have to make the journey comfortable.”

We will keep you posted on our mystery friend’s progress but any pictures will have to wait until her arrival. We have had lots of friends volunteer to help and Sophie is heading out to get bubble wrap . . .

I got up this morning to a skiff of snow on the cars and the roof of the house next door. It has been flurrying all morning and the evergreens look lightly frosted. And, Shane, went out and came in with snowflakes on his back. We all gathered around him and he had no idea why we were all marveling at his back. Then he shook himself, melted snowflakes flying. I don’t know if he has connected the white things floating down with the wetness on his back but it may get interesting.

We had a very hot summer and so I don’t think he truly realized he was not in Texas anymore. Fall has been warm for us. But now we have snow. Last week end when the temperature dropped, Der Bingle remarked that the one with the big furry coat was running to the car at the fairgrounds with no prompting.

We have had years when Quentin had to wade into drifts to rescue Little Ann and lend a hand to Sydney. What will Shane think if we have a nice deep snow? You know, when my dad was alive and he and Miss Alice went out in the winter, he would clear a path for her. They’d bundle up and go on one of their walks and people would wonder who was walking whom. if you asked him, he would say, “Well, she doesn’t walk so much as she sniffs and moseys around.” He always had a rope on her so she could wander but be under his control (HA). One time he dropped the rope as an experiment and she came over and picked it up and put it back in his hand.

Aw, rats, I’m choking up.