Okay, we will start the rest stop story and just add to it as the day goes on.

So we were driving down I-75 close to Wapakoneta and it was dark, dark, dark – even with our brights on. I, AmeliaJake, noticed a rest stop was coming up and asked if anyone wanted to take advantage of the opportunity. Quite frankly, I, myself thought better safe than sorry.

As I was going down the entrance lane into the rest stop, I was distracted and when I came to the truck/car fork I was to the left and didn’t know if anyone was right behind me. Besides it was so dark, I couldn’t even make out the letters on the car/truck sign.

Yes, I went to the left and it turned out to be for trucks. I was just going to pull into one of the slots, but someone in the car thought that would be bad, illegal and just totally embarrassing. So I went back to the entrance to the truck area and saw that  you had to go a bit before you came to the fork and could swing around. I would be going against truck traffic so I was going to park.

Then a light shone in my eyes, bright and piercing and this big, rugged and ugly man with one arm came up and yelled, “What kind of a stunt do you think you’re pulling???!!!!”

I said that I was sorry; I had gone the wrong way at the fork.

“)*^(*&(&^) car parking lot)()(*)*&&)(_&^ FIND IT.

So I kept my mouth shut and as someone flattened themselves against the passenger side door as if they could dissolve into it, I went the wrong way down the truck lane to reach the car parking lot.

We went in the restroom; we stopped at the vending machine area . . . and all the way to Dayton, I heard:

WHAT KIND OF STUNT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE PULLING?

I heard it that night in the apartment; I heard it the next day and the day after that.

Even getting lost didn’t shake her out of her obsession with the one-armed yelling man.

Alien Poo, I’m surprised you brought up the topic of “the rest stop story” since you know all the details. Why would you want to read it? Because you want to make me blush?

So, okay, though, I will tell it:

We pulled into a rest stop where a big white van was parked as well and Summer thought she heard, “Help us! Help us!” coming from inside it. So I courageously went up to one of the small back windows and looked in and saw ELVES THAT WERE BEING KIDNAPPED.

Just at that moment, the truck driver, who I noticed had one arm, came up behind me and raised a heavy flashlight in his one hand to hit me over the head. When I spun around, he quickly flicked the switch and shone it in my eyes as if he were illuminating my view.

But, I knew it was a fake reprieve until any witnesses were gone; I drove my head into his solar plexus and Summer and Cameron jumped on top of him. We called the police and they came and freed the elves and we all got a medal from Santa. Needless to say, the one-armed man is on the Naughty list.

Is that okay, Alien Poo?