I’m sitting out here in the little nook off of one of the main rooms at the Peanut Butter Cafe & Roadhouse and Alma’s in at the counter listening to the little TV . . . and she’s got Dr. Phil on. I have heard snatches. I admit it – just snatches. But Dr. Phil is telling a lady that you can’t expect a kid to follow a rule unless he feels there is a reward in following it. How about this reason as an alternative: When a parent stresses it is important to do something in a certain way – or not to do something – and explains why, than shouldn’t a kid obey that rule because . . . it is the right thing to do? Even if you have to say, “I don’t have time to explain, but trust me when I say you must not eat that cookie,” shouldn’t that be enough. Maybe, for instance, you can’t tell a kid, “That man over there has put arsenic in that cookie but if I tell you there is poison in it, he is going to shoot you,” because you are fairly certain the man is a nut and will pull the trigger, having heard you on his bionic ear.

I think some time in life people just have to recognize the right thing to do for what it is – the right thing to do. And if they don’t want to do it and don’t, then they need to be willing to say they made a conscious choice to do otherwise – to take responsibility for that decision.

And I am going to march right in there and pour myself a stiff Diet Coke and tell Alma and Dr. Phil’s little televised face what I think. And if this town right here where the PBC & R is located is missing its idiot, it is not me. I’m the curmudgeon.

ONE MORE THING: Did I forget to mention that we tip cows in effigy here. We have this fake cow we found when the dairy sign fell down and we like to hang a name around its neck and tip it right over. It’s kind of banged up now; we’ll probably have to solder it soon and add some more paint. But I think it’s got one more  tipping in it before repair is mandatory. I’ll just use my paint to make the sign for its neck.

Dr. Phil