Joe Biden says he will not run

I heard the news yesterday. First, when I was in a store, I saw on a big screen TV, a special announcement crawler at the bottom: “Biden to speak in Rose Garden in nine minutes . . ” I then stopped in at a bank where they have lots of security cameras, but no big screen TV, and asked the teller if she had heard one way or the other. She had not, but when I rolled my eyes and said in an exasperated whisper, “That BOZO.” she burst out laughing and thanked me for brightening her day.

So, he says he is not running. Hmmm, I would not be surprised if he had not made some deal with the Devil to have everyone on Election Day 2016 feel compelled to don tinfoil hats, through which they would receive instructions to write his name in. Yes, I feel that strongly about the man.

White trash – a politically incorrect term

See, I added a little protection there in the post title since I didn’t want to spend time explaining to any commenter that when you are in your late 60’s, White Trash was just a part of the vocabulary when you were growing up.

I realized tonight that when I went out and climbed up on a ladder to stomp trash in two containers that I am a self-made white trash gal. I come from respectable parents, grandparents and so forth, and here I am stomping trash before I walk back into a house (cafe) that is an almost solid mass of memorabilia.(Clutter)

The inside of my car is like a messy house trailer. Trash container in the car? Hey, just toss it over my shoulder into the back seat. I think I need a portable fridge with a car charger to ride in the passenger seat with me.

The trick is I can “pass” because I clean up fairly well. And my English diction is impeccable – give or take a smidgen of slang. I can recite poetry, studied Latin, do not appreciate those tawdry shows on television and yet, with very little effort, I can lean back in a chair, prop a booted foot on a table or wall and when really, really pressed, I have used a vinyl table cloth inside.

Yeah, Old AJ is WT. Sorry, ancestors, all you DAR and Daughters of the Union ladies, all you sturdy, upstanding people who went taught Sunday School and kept me from hearing, let alone saying certain words until I got to Bloomington, Indiana. Heck, I’m making myself feel guilty: I may have to redeem myself, but I probably didn’t leave enough time.

One good thing: I don’t crush beer cans with my bare hands – I specialize in those new really thin plastic water bottles, and I don’t bash them on my forehead.

The Inner Person on Riley Street

The guys here don’t want me to say The Peanut Butter Cafe & Roadhouse, because they feel the picture and knowledge that this person is actually AmeliaJake would be bad. I think I know why; it is not really a picture that invites one to sit and be happy and eat peanut butter foldovers.

AJ former life

Just think, they got me all dressed up in a pleated skirt, which someone had to iron, and a nice blouse with a locket and I sat there and bawled. They paid money for this memory. I see I was pleading with my eyes with someone over to my left to help me; I think I know who it was.

I have the vaguest, vaguest wisp of a memory of that picture being taken. I don’t know what was so traumatic, but I’ll bet I didn’t get a gold star for my behavior. That hasn’t changed any.

Well, the washing machine gave up the ghost

Yes, the trip to Indianapolis tired me out, along with getting up at 5:30 to drive people to work, not to mention the cleaning of the middle basement in the Lagrange County house. It was the washer that gave my spirit a gut-punch and just stilled my fingers lest they type not nice words.

This has happened before, a little switch that goes crazy and won’t let the washer do anything for more than two seconds. I did manage to get the dial right on the spot where the pump in activated if the switch is working when the switch actually decided to spit out a burst of power. Thank God for the concept of siphoning; it was like a giant took a big suck on a hose in a gas tank and the water kept draining out. No bucket brigade was needed.

A new washer is going to be delivered Thursday morning; that will be dramatic because the laundry room, an altered pantry, perhaps former coat room – who knows – has this tiny access point. I got the old washer out and, of course, found yucky, mucky dirt underneath it. Now if this new Maytag can get installed and turn out like my first Maytag, that will be good. The first one lasted about 25 years. It was so old it was avocado green. That’s old. Pretty soon I’m going to have to start checking my color in the mirror.

Then, on the way back from Fort Wayne, a sensor “had a fit” according to the service technician and the engine had reduced power. We are waiting for the new part and so far, the sensor has not acted up again. Supposedly, if it does, there is a good chance I just need to pull over, turn the car off and then restart it. In today’s language, I suppose that is akin to rebooting it. Anyway, I am not depending on my accelerator for any powerful zooms around cars or turns into traffic.

I had a dental cleaning appointment for Thursday morning, the day of washer delivery, so I had to call and cancel. They put me on a call list and actually called last night and I got my teeth taken care of this morning. No cavities, Ma.

And in case you are wondering, I have bags of really dirty clothes because I chose this week-end to do battle with the middle basement room at Mother’s, dontcha know?

Indianapolis adventure

It was a beautiful day in central Indiana and that was good, because we had to do some walking. Being downtown and not being up-to-date on parking was a bummer. I decided that with all the traffic, I would just go with the flow and park in a garage I could get to without scooting across lanes of traffic. It turned out to be a 10 minute walk from where we wanted to go and I took my ticket with me because it had the address of the building on it.

That would have been good thinking, but the official address of the garage, which was on a corner, was not that from which we entered and exited. On the way back in the late afternoon, I guided Alison over to the Soldiers and Sailors Monument on the Circle. Instead of just following my mental map, I decided to be cute and plugged the address into the GPS. You would have thought this would not have been a problem, but it directed me to walk in a different direction and then we got not lost, but out-of-our-way as I attempted to impose my vision of the street I wanted on the street they were giving me. Of course, they were two different streets – I had not paid attention when we exited to what street we were on, assuming that it was the address of the lot.

This probably was not as stupid as it sounds because it had been awhile since I had been in a big city parking structure and was distracted by discovering one had to pay at a machine when you returned. You then had 20 minutes to get to your car, settle in after locating your keys and exit the garage. Since no one appeared to be on duty anywhere and since it was rush hour, I had to hope I wouldn’t reveal my hick tendencies in leaving.

And to leave, you have to get out of the car to insert the ticket which you used in one machine to pay, to put it in another to activate the gate. Fortunately, I had kept the ticket in my hot little hand. Then, because it was rush hour, a sort of police guy was directing traffic at the exit. It was Go, Go, Go . . . and so I went, fastening my seat belt somewhere in the middle lane of New York Street.

On our walk to our destination and our round-the-barn way back, I examined the parking meters and saw why they looked odd. Each one was a small box, labelled with a number that you were to input in a nearby ATM-type device. Okay, this is obviously for locals because we saw no signs indicating how long you could park and so forth – locals, or other big city folks who understand these new-fangled things. The thought of parallel parking at an unknown meter device made the parking garage option – wherever it was – more appealing. I will be studying up on urban parking meters now; I seem to get more old fogey by the day.

Oh, by the way, my boots set off the alarm in the security walk-through thingie. No big deal, but I did ask and found out that where we were was the only way in for the two block long building; you could go out any door, you just had to come in this one. I suppose it was money-saving not to have two security scanning entrances. I turned to Alison and commanded, “Do not step out of any door unless the building is on fire.” This was especially important because construction was going on and it appeared some doors opened onto areas temporarily surrounded by chain link fencing. It could have been ugly.

I’m rambling all over the place here and now I’m going back to the part after we left the garage: Not only was it rush hour downtown, but we then were in rush hour on the Interstates. Traffic was often at a stand still, but at times everyone was moving at least 70 mph in areas marked 55 mph . . . and all the lanes were full. About an hour after clearing the city, we stopped at a Taco Bell for a nice relaxing Iced Tea with Mango – and maybe a little something from the cravings menu.

Of course, this is tremendously boring to anyone whose eyes are on it, but typing it out may clear my head and prevent nightmares of one-way, dead-end streets with tolls.

Going to Indianapolis

It is not really a long trip, between 2 and a half and three hours, but it is to about four blocks west of “The Circle” which has in its center The Soldiers and Sailors Monument. Back in the days before malls, when big department stores were downtown, the day after Thanksgiving, the stores would unveil windows that featured animated elves and reindeer and all sorts of Christmastime scenes.

My parents would take me and you know, I honestly think it was more magical than anything Pixar can come up with. We stood in the cold of November, dressed up because we were going to Indianapolis and stared in at all the creative wonders. It was the W.H. Block Company that I remember most. If I remember correctly, Block’s also had pneumanic tubes that transferred money up to a central office, and brought back the change. Tubes right through the air – who would have thought?

But, tomorrow, I will not be in the back seat, riding along. I will be driving, and that’s okay, except Interstates run through the city and there I’m not certain about parking around the Government buildings. We are going early, leaving plenty of time to get where we are going, because we don’t know the correct lane without GPS.

We’ll be down by the Indiana Central Canal – and if I have time, I’ll probably go over and stand there thinking of towpaths and times gone by. Then I’ll get in the car and turn on the GPS again. Kind of a little bit of guilt there.

Tyler, Texas Half-Marathon winner – Special Class

Orange

This is Orange, although Orange is her code name – her real name is sealed in the files of the Very Secret Stuff Office. She decided to get some exercise and participated in the Tyler, Texas Half marathon this past week-end. Her time was 4 minutes and 32 seconds, most of which was peeling herself off building along the course. Look at the route and I think you can see why.

tyler route

Yes, a lot of really sharp turns and when you’re going so very, very fast – the broom helped, turbo-charged, dontcha know, sometimes you just can’t keep from kissing concrete.

The officials did not know what to do with someone who turned in such a spectacular time, so they gave her first prize in a “special” category. That happens a lot to Orange. In an interview, she disclosed that she works in the off-season as one of Santa’s covert elves since she can cover so much territory so fast.

In this computer age, she wears a camera and has a chip embedded to help keep all her designations of naughty and nice and the variations thereof safely on record. So be watching the skies . . . and your windows. Orange suggests, “You really do want to be good.”

Missing person

Okay, the world may be flat and I might have walked off the edge, hung there for a few days, clinging with weakening fingers and finally pulled myself back up and am typing this with a pencil in my mouth.

Or . . . I got to reading some books and going to Fairborn, Ohio where I indulged in City Barbecue and then driving back and getting really tired and then reading some more.

I haven’t decided which scenario makes the best sense, which undoubtedly indicates the fall off the edge and the jolt of grabbing hold at the last section and the stress of hanging there for all that time has caused cognitive thinking problems. I believe I could take various lines of reasoning in circles, although that leaves me wondering if they would be 2D planes or 3D spheres.

Whatever, apparently the shock has wiped any memory of what is on the bottom side of the earth – or maybe it was too dark to see. This might be a spell of Forest Gumpism with a pinch of crazy thrown in; it’s sort of like malaria, it comes, it goes. Now, to find the quinine in this analogy.

Oh, that ice cream recipe – the Sarah Grismore one

Gee, since Mother learned to make homemade ice cream from my grandmother who was born in 1881, I figure this recipe has got some know-how behind it. I think she wrote it out for me, but, alas, making and churning and icing and salting is a team effort and when you’re too old to lick the paddles, it just isn’t the same.

However, you might be wondering, you people who are optimistic and cheerful and like to have a good time with rock salt and ice and tiring muscles, so:

IMG_1769

If you see an Elmo in a tree in Kendallville . . .

At the beginning of August, for my granddaughter’s birthday, I purchased a number of helium balloons – five of which were Elmos. All this time later, only one was left and he had gone to the floor and then out the door to the concrete floor of the garage.

I just couldn’t bear it, so I decided I would get another Elmo and let them both go free to Heaven. And they wound up in a tree. I’m sorry guys; I could just cry.

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