The earth is getting smaller . . .

Yes, sitting inside my little spaceship, I have worked hard to make a critical piece of equipment function. And now, after numerous tries, I have failed. I look out the window . . . and the earth is getting smaller.

Sometimes I do this, pretend that the task at hand is a part of the movie where the hero must quickly negotiate the trickiest of maneuvers to save himself and/or the world from disaster. Often I hear the fateful KABOOM in my ears as I fumble one thing or another. But I go on.

Now this time . . . with this wreath . . . this blasted wreath, I don’t feel the second of disintegration; unfortunately, somewhere along the line, the movie scenario became one of “must fix this to get back to earth and not float off into space as my oxygen runs out and I enter an eternity of silent drifting in the stars.”  Yes, the entire light system has failed! Internet inquiries reveal that many people have found this model of cheerful lights defective. I lay my head against my cabin window and watch home get farther away.

BUT WAIT!  Maybe if I string together the lights on the control panel, I can get this wreath working. (Control panel? Wreath actually on spaceship? Actual spaceship? My mind must be confusing scenario with reality.)

Focus, AmeliaJake. Can you cobble together something to save the day? Forget fixing what is broken, find something else to serve the purpose.

Yes, tie flashlights to the evergreen. Okay, no. All our flashlights always have dead batteries. Candles? No, it is windy outside. I must think . . .