Daily Archives: June 27, 2008

Just Me - AmeliaJake

Red Dragon

I once read the book Red Dragon which started the Hannibal series and the whole thing about it was this serial murderer was in the act of “becoming” the Red Dragon. He referred to his “becoming” and even ate a famous painting to get it actually inside him. What this has to do with me is that I have this sense that if I just do “something” I will “become” better; well, more than better. But it nags in the back of my mind that another who sensed this becoming sensation was a bad guy.

As I handle most things, I will handle this by saying “Oh, well.”

Now, my problem is I do not know what I am on the edge of becoming. Nor do I feel extremely certain that even if I feel I am really close, I should take that step off of the Me as I Am Right Now Cliff. I am sensing a possibility I am getting a little crazy here. Oh, dear – Is that what my becoming is?

Oh, well.

Hey, wait a minute, maybe  I’m feeling  this way because I cleaned yesterday and today . . . and threw things out. I was not ruthless, but almost. Do I want to throw away AmeliaJake? Or is it preparing for mortality. Great, the one time in my life I prepare for anything and it might be for leaving. That’s like improving  your house to sell it.

Ack, ack, the idea of turning 60 is more than my mind can handle . . . It is really going to be a wallop. And all this darn year, I’ve been saying, “I’m going to be 60 . . . I missed being 59. Or, I could call this past year #60 and just do #59 this year . . . like making up an assignment.

While my mind ball is bouncing from wall to wall, here’s another lament: It is upsetting to watch and old movie and remember thinking when you watched it decades ago the characters you think are “normal” now were to you old codgers then.

I am going to get a grip here. Just go off and ack a lot.

This and That at The Peanut Butter Cafe & Roadhouse

Creamy or Crunchy or Extra Crunchy?

1 Comment

The question has been posed about a little variety in my foldover consumption. Well, I guess my younger days were my creamy phase – and I held on to the tradition long after crunchy was introduced. I don’t remember when I started with the crunchy preference, and, as I think about it, I believe I tend to vary between the creamy and crunchy in relation to brand.

For years and years and years, I ate Peter Pan PB, then we had Jif in the house and I ate it and I guess maybe I prefer it, but I can switch over to Peter Pan quite easily. It is like riding a bicycle.

I do think I like the little extra oomph in crunchy and extra crunchy. Perhaps because I add nothing to my peanut butter, I appreciate the additional texture that crunchy provides. I do vary the bread and venture into Panera choices – asiago cheese, for instance. For some strange reason, I think my favorite is Trader Joe’s Sourdough with some funky peanut butter my husband has picked out. It takes some getting used to, but it makes me feel I am approaching my true self.