A couple of us were sitting in the Peanut Butter Cafe & Roadhouse the other day when the sheriff went roaring by with sirens wailing. Turns out he was headed up to a local meeting of dairy farmers where a fellow from the university’s extension office was giving a talk. As I understand it, deputies approached on other roads to make certain none of the persons of interest got away.

They didn’t, not a one of them. The sheriff walked into the meeting room and heard Tom Pasteur talking about giving cows vitamins to keep them strong. Right there, the sheriff had his evidence and arrested Tom and every farmer in the room, including 83 year old Elsie Vernon who still hand-milked five cows every morning.

By the time this was known, a lot more of us were gathered down at the PB Cafe. it was getting on toward suppertime and the sheriff himself stopped in. We starred at him as he walked up to the shelf to get his personal jar of PB. He turned, saw us looking and said, “I take it you’ve heard. Yep. We saw the agenda ahead of time and right there on that piece of paper, it said, ‘Tips for Cows’. Yessirree, Bob, we had them cold. Just a big old room of cow tippers. In the slammer now.”

Agnes suggested that maybe the discussion was about how much a diner should give his cow waitress . . . and the sheriff actually thought about it. Bert voiced the idea that perhaps they had been discussing the new experimental cow feed made from asparagus tips. The sheriff chewed his crunchy foldover and said, “Nah, you folks are pulling my leg . . . You better watch out; one day that leaning cow is going to go over and I’ll be out for you too.”

We watched him walk up the road to stretch his legs after eating and when he came to our leaning cow, he tipped his hat to her. We allowed it wouldn’t be wise to make a citizen’s arrest.