I saw an internet sub-headline about a neuroscientist  who discovered he was had a psychopathic brain. It was a brief interview with  TV’s Dr. Gupta. My interest piqued, I looked for more information and found some HERE . I’d like to see a PET scan of my brain – of course, I’m more relaxed looking at the results after making it 65 years without killing anyone.

Well, I am upset, really. I looked at the weather website and saw an ad from NIPSCO (Northern Indiana Public Service Company). The little section for the ad was off the the right of all the main information section and I vaguely was aware that it said something about evaluating home power usage. Then as my cursor moved over it on the way to something else, it changed and a picture of a bookcase filled with gnomes appeared, along with the words: Without judging your personal taste.

I’m not going to be my usual sarcastic self here because I don’t want anyone at NIPSCO to accidentally flip a switch or write my address down on a shut off order. No, I am keeping my lips sealed. But I don’t know what some of my little gnomes are going to do, not to mention the red-headed folks at the Peanut Butter Cafe and Roadhouse.

I sat here for a minute or so just staring at the blank for post title. Usually, I just type the first thing that comes into my head, which is more than likely evident.

I just realized one could suppose either my head was empty or I was daydreaming. It was the first; I had no thoughts. Well, I had one: Why did I wake at 5 am and read instead of going back to sleep, leaving myself yawning at 8 am? Maybe the answer is that I am indeed an airhead.

But, of course, that’s not so; that’s just a little self-deprecating remark for the sake of humor. I know I’m bright. So, AmeliaJake, say something smart. Well, okay, let’s assume from this brief experiment that smarts are like the tide and right now, I am low.

Amazingly enough, writing this drivel has perked up my spirits considerably. Or was it the caffeine?

My name is AmeliaJake and I’m a Kook – and proud of it.

As a result of yesterday’s inadequate warm-up, I was left with 1-3+ inches of rutted ice on my driveway and sidewalk. I went out to buy more rock salt, but the shortage is real. So I told the third person I talked to I’d buy some water softener salt pellets.

“But, Ma’am, that’s not for sidewalks”

“It says Morton’s and it says salt; sell it to me.”

The clerk and a bystander were shaking their heads.

Of course it didn’t work perfectly, but it worked enough. Had I more time, I would have made perforation holes to get my shovel an opening to slide under slabs. I did manage to dislodge several big chunks and I FEEL PROUD OF MYSELF.

Oh, no, I just remembered: Pride goeth before a fall. So apropos. Was that a written slip of the tongue. Oh, God, it’s a pun attack.

WRITTEN YESTERDAY:

I’m here, not so much because I want to talk to someone, but because I don’t want to be doing anything else. And I have done some things today, not a whole lot, but housework and, for me, that’s always a bummer.

I thought maybe I’d write more about Chablis, but Holy Moses! when I looked at her house in my mind’s eye, I saw that a meteorite had struck and there was just a big hole. Not really a black hole, but it leaves me in the dark because everything was obliterated. Gone.  That’s the breaks, I guess.

I don’t feel like reading; I feel like doing something different. No, not really; I believe the truth is I don’t want to do anything at all. Well, I think I do want to breathe; I stopped for a bit, but then I realized I really wanted to start it up once more. Oddly enough, I didn’t type when I wasn’t breathing; I was thinking about not breathing. Now that I am thinking about it, I realize that I often type a few words before I take a breath. I suppose my body is using the air I took in at that time, so, in fact, I am still in the process of breathing.

I just sat here for a couple of minutes not typing – breathing though – because I was considering having actually written about something that basic. Is it so basic it’s profound? No, I think I can safely say it is not.

Obviously, I came here unwisely. I think I’ll just let this sit as a draft, while I sit here and breathe.

WRITTEN TODAY:

I am in a phase of quotidian (part of definition that reads: ordinary; commonplace: paintings of no more than quotidian artistry) posts. Not that I ever was better, but, I think, every now and then, I did say something well.  I do not know what to do about it and I have decided I am going to do nothing at all; if this is my blah time and I still feel like writing, so be it.

I (sigh) guess this is a Public Service Announcement.

Having gotten that out of the way, I unapologetically move on to write that the temperature is predicted to be 53 today. This should be a nice change, but there was something restfully inviting about being tucked away in a hermit mode with blankets and peanut butter and reading material.

I’ll have to ease back into the idea of leaving my little cabin. That’s what I’m doing right now – easing.

Okay, I went 15 hours without food for my fasting blood tests; not a problem, but I was feeling a little low by about 10:30 this morning, just after getting out of the appointment. So, when I saw a Pepsi can in my trunk, I figured a little sugar and caffeine would perk me up.

Well, yessirree Bob, just a few swallows and then I felt more chipper. Part way home I realized the bit of sugar and caffeine was a “stimulant” after having had only water for 15 hours. I didn’t want to stop at a gas station and then I wished I had stopped at a gas station, but I did get home okay, in case you were wondering. I was wondering there for awhile.

Not the best topic in the world, but when you get to a certain age, I’ve found I don’t care. After enough years, you’re on an intimate relationship with the realities of life.

Not a great post title, but goes to the core of the power of adding a little heat as a catalyst. We got up to 41 yesterday and I think the high is supposed to be 38 today. It was dark driving this morning because, unlike yesterday, the road and landscape were not combined in one long expanse of reflective white.

It feels a little odd – the warmth and the clear roadways. Of course, all those lawns with deep snow and the piles at the side of the road are still there and anyplace not shoveled or salted is a rutted walk of slick terror. And, it is still February – only the middle of it really.

I would be bored myself reading this, but I am fascinated by the difference in the atmosphere some crucial degrees of Fahrenheit can make.

Now to prepare for the lesson in reverse.

I was able to change my bloodwork appointment from today to tomorrow online, so I didn’t have to try and pick my way down to Fort Wayne – and maybe they would have been closed anyway.

However, now I am in a mood to do a faceflop on a sofa and just suck up rest, rolling over after a bit to prop my legs up and maybe read some. I’m inclined to let my body have the stability of a wet rag and just plop. Yet, there is another choice: I could actually summon up good cheer and bound into the kitchen to do dishes and then into the laundry room and oh, my, even do (try) a couple of core exercises. Yes, indeedy, that is a possibility.

Zest, clean smell, achievement – wouldn’t that be a triumph? Uh, this little pep talk isn’t working; I’m no Lou Holtz.

In the back of my mind where my rationalizing powers have taken over a big area, I’m feeling the formation of thoughts such as letting all the toxic tiredness and blahness flow out of my reclined body and then letting it recharge with energy for  tomorrow. (I’m not sure where this free-floating energy is and how it is going to collect in my body, but that’s not a big pitfall for me at the moment. I mean those vibrating little atoms have got to be somewhere around me; I could just keep my mouth open, as in snoring, and welcome them in. And pores: sweat goes out pores, can’t energy come in? Of course it can. It can pour in.) Sorry, I can’t help it – the punning thing.

Perhaps I need therapy, and that makes another vote for the couch.

I could make up some more of the “empty out your brain” non-plot story, but I find myself wanting to get more bizarre than usual with my explanations of how the green heel got in Louise’s house. Heck, I might even decide Louise is really someone else – maybe Louis. But right now, I keep wanting to go the spy route for Chablis and I am determined not to do that – Purple Alert Button in Moscow, be damned. In thinking about it, I am coming dangerously close to having some sort of plot and defeat my free-flowing thinking – or non-thinking, as it were.

Also, I feel bad – not too bad, but a little – about writing about Chablis being so bad-looking. It’s really catty and petty . . . and deliciously wicked.

Okay, I need a new plotless non-story. OR a scenario in which there are 30 characters and three names used with paragraphs jumping back and forth in time. God, I could be a genius. NO theme, definitely not. But, heme would be okay; yes, something about vampires.

Who knew I had so much stuff to empty out of my brain? And you know what? I am beginning to sense it is like an ever-growing blob.

I need a job that makes use out of my talent for the stupid side of crazy. A well-paying job, with benefits, and an office with a sofa.

UPDATE: CLOSED.

This is a tough position for East Noble decision-makers to be in. The temperature is 24 and climbing, but we had a wet snow last night, some of it falling on still snow-covered county roads. The salt is working, but right now the effect is water on top of packed snow. Driving Alison to the hospital wasn’t too bad, since it is so close and we only have to go on two roads, both relatively major. But on the newly built road that doubles as a hospital drive, I felt the wheels lose all traction – not a good sensation.

Coming back, the truck in front of me fish-tailed badly and then a guy in a red (small) jeep went zooming by us. I could hear him thinking, “Hey, I’ve got a JEEP.”

It seems safer because it is warmer and because cars are not getting stuck in deep snow, but it wouldn’t take much to get way over-confident and then SMACK!

Although it is suppose to be five degrees above freezing today at some point, I think I’d go with a closing, because this is not that some point right now . . . and at this point, it is slick, slick and slick.

We have two people here who have doctor’s appointments in Fort Wayne this afternoon, and I was greeted this morning with the news that fast-falling snow is supposed to hit about the time we will be there. Sooo, a full tank of gas, warm stuff in the trunk and off we will go, with extra time allowed. We have been fortunate this winter with trips coinciding with storms, so I can’t complain.

Then I am supposed to fast for 15 hours for blood tests tomorrow in Fort Wayne.  But I’m not going to complain about that, either; I’ll be glad to get it over with. Although they seem to take so much blood, I may just have to put a bunch of doughnuts in the car to give me a boost coming home, and sustain me if I get stranded. Cake doughnuts, cream-filled doughnuts, doughnut holes with cinnamon sugar.

I may be able to apply for a job as a sugar plump fairy.