I’m not writing about the weather; I’m writing about “the AmeliaJake full-fledged congested chest” – and I find that an example of life’s unfairness since I have never had a chest in the after puberty way that most females do. Flat as a board; and I slouch so I think my chest actually curves inward. I have let these sentences take this tack because I need to laugh at myself with my fingers since chuckling aloud initiates a spasm of coughing that sounds like gravel being shaken in a tin can.

And, actually, I’m feeling better now – noisier, but better. I haven’t had a real cold in a long time and, in fact, I have been expounding the theory that I have been exposed to so many cold viruses over the years that when I feel one coming on, my body surprises me and drags up so antibodies from some cold when I was six, 18, 39 or somewhat older even. The cold hanging over me seems to say, Oh, never mind.

NOT THIS TIME. I have actually cancelled plans because of this cold because it has been so tiring, playing with my oxygen consumption during the day and waking me up at night. I’ve been to worn out to read and that says a lot. OKAY, enough complaining. (But, AmeliaJake, you have such a talent for it! Those folks at the Foo Bar have such a knack for reminding me of my traits. I may have to institute a cover charge.)

It is frustrating having this cold cause me to cancel a trip to the Ohio Redoubt; Der Bingle is one to wait on me without even being asked. I take it for granted and I’m certain I have developed an almost subconscious use of little suggestive, trigger sentences that will have him volunteering to go to the store for some treat or tucking my feet in with a special blanket . . . or letting me watch whatever I want on Netflix without even a sigh. I’m shameless – subconsciously, of course.

Tuesday, I take the car into the repair garage and get a rental. I may have mentioned it in the last post, but I am tempted to say, Let me pay more and have a Hummer for the three days. That could be disastrous – Fine, you don’t want to play nice with the lanes, let me just drive over you. Or finding out if I really could drive off-road all the way to the LaGrange House. I should never be allowed to have a big vehicle such as that; with it would come responsibility that I am not hardwired to handle. It’s almost fun to imagine me with a tank, although that brings up the image of Dukakis in one during the 1988 campaign and nobody should have to revisit that vision. (Well, here’s an example of losers being dropped like hot potatoes: automatic spell-check says Dukakis is not a word. Too bad it doesn’t question Biden. But then, I suppose it doesn’t because Biden has probably become a synonym for clown, jerk, bozo. Or, maybe, it is a verb now: to biden.)

Altogether now: AMELIAJAKE CAN’T STAND THAT MAN.

At the top of this post format, there is a green squiggle and beside it is written, Try the brand new editor. I suppose I will cave, because the site will nag and nag and I’ll get frustrated. Of course, I am already frustrated; why, why does every site have to keep changing? I suppose the programmers want us to think of it as improving the site. I really don’t think so. Drivel will be drivel and insight will be insight and creative thoughts will not pop out of a new editor format.

Actually, this little to-do with update has spurred me to quit writing so much drivel and get more creative. I was so, once upon a time. Then I got in a rut and that rut is getting deeper. If I don’t watch out, I will need a little WordPress icon ladder to climb out. Actually, one of those cherry pickers might be fun, but I’m pretty certain, I’d be stuck having to scrounge up a ladder.

It is still snowing and cold outside and I am in a bad mood. You might have noticed that without my telling you. My mouth is puckered up in a petulant scowl and I wouldn’t mind having something to kick. I don’t know if it is an old lady thing or not. I suspect it is an AmeliaJake thing, possibly made more volatile by it being an election year.

After eight years of Joe Biden, I would have expected myself to be more cheerful, but the prospect of this Hillary, as opposed to the Sir Edmund one, is not making me feel on top of the world.

I could go on griping, but I’d better save something for tomorrow.

It’s not going to be a lot of snow, but then a coat of ice doesn’t need thickness. I looked out to see wet, white stuff covering everything and continuing to come down. I have to go to Auburn on a two lane hilly road; I am certainly not taking the “back roads” that may cut a mile or so off the trip, but are narrow with very sharp turns and when seen outlined on a map, look like a maze.

And on top of it all, I have a COLD – the first really bad one in years. Nose stuffed, chest congested and figuratively a pain in the neck. Let’s home it doesn’t become literal. I hate it when you find yourself shuddering as you think, I have to swallow.

Yes, for months I have been getting emails about burial and funeral costs and now, while looking at one site, this little headline popped up in a sidebar box.

I’d say the results are in and statistics seem to indicate that I am getting older, which is better than getting not so. However, even at this late date, I am thinking that maybe this aging thing could have been thought out better, but it would probably get all political. It seems only the Grim Reaper has the trump card.

I went yesterday to arrange to have my car repaired and, wow, if I play my cards wrong, I can get two accidents being taken care of at one appointment. It is supposed to be icy, icy and icy and I have to go out this evening.

It is raining right now and the temperature is 31, so it is a good thing we don’t have many hills here as we did in northern metropolitan Cincinnati.

I have a lot of firewood in the garage and vestibule but the rest is getting wet. It should be all right, however, because the wood is seasoned and a hot fire from the dry wood will make it burnable – it’ll have a hissy fit, but it will burn.

They are selling something odd at the grocery: a slice of a tree trunk with sort of an asterisk cut into it. They say it’s an instant bonfire. I think I’ll let someone else try it out. If I were a good kindling maker, I could make a little money on the side, chopping up my logs. A pack of kindling (small) sells for six dollars. It looks like it is mostly fat slivers of wood and I think it would burn up fairly fast – don’t bother getting the hot dogs out.

I wouldn’t make roasting hot dogs tonight, but I don’t feel any enthusiasm, although people would probably show up when I stuck my roasting stick in. I keep intending to rig up grill to fit over the fire – or a spit to hold a bean pot, but then I forget. I think it would do people good to have some beans cooked in an old cast iron pot over a fire. We could eat them in pie tins and say things like, Boy we had a hard day of cowboying.

But back to the winter storm; I have this fear that the easy winter is going to turn into a spring that refuses to make a commitment and we will have precipitation and 30 degrees temps every other day or so. Last week, 50 cars slid off the road in this county in about two hours time.

I’m looking out the window and that rain, well, it’s looking like sleet and the neighboring roof is starting to look glazed. Rats, now what did I do with the scraper? Oh, it’s probably in the car which will ice up and the doors will refuse to open, necessitating the hair dryer technique.

I want a Hummer. No, a tank would probably be better. Best of all would be a beat up old Volvo that would tank its way along and if you slide into something, it will be able to take it. Actually, that reminds me of the winter Quentin and I aimed an old Volvo at the space between the two towers of snow at the driveway entrance. More than once, we bounced off and had to re-aim. That was the year Quentin had to rescue the Cocker Spaniel Little Ann from a monstrous drift. And she’d try it again. Sigh.

I usually have something to gripe about all the time, so why have I been so silent for almost three days? Heck if I know – people got lucky I guess.

I did get my dent looked at and guess what? It popped out on its own; the repair guy thinks it was because of the change in temperature. It was an odd looking dent to begin with – sort of a hollowed-out space as if a bowl had been caught up in the fender making machine. I definitely will have to post a picture of the original injury; I’m glad I took a picture because I don’t think anyone would truly believe me otherwise.

However, it still needs fixing and so next Tuesday it is scheduled for some procedures. My main concern is getting it all cleaned out because I tend you use the car as a carry-all bag. It’s going to be like a archeological expedition.

It’s a given that AmeliaJake is sarcastic, and can be so in an extremely cutting way. It comes so easily.  I am going to show you a picture:

I will type: Hi, I’m a vacuum, but AmeliaJake’s the sucker. Now, of course, there is not much to that. However, if I chose to do so, I could walk the situation six times around the sarcastic block and still have trips left in me. But, I cant . . . sink . . . that . . . low. But I want to. (Oh, by the way, it has nothing to do with any sort of vacuum review)

Now, if I had real true blue, prime time, award-winning character, I wouldn’t write anything at all. I have middling character so I had to mention it OR I WOULD EXPLODE. I still may; this may not be enough. Sigh.

As I sat in the laundromat last night because I did not want to spend the entire night catching up on the wash, my phone popped up with a weather warning. It does that a lot; it’s usually not for me, but perhaps they have refined it now – zeroed in, so to say.

A lady came in and starting talking snowstorm and my mouth scrunched up and my eyes darted from side to side in a moment of “Oh, rats – was that weather notice maybe valid?

This morning the snow is coming down at 31 degrees and it varies  between pelting my face and jacket and splatting them. It is heavy snow and I brought in lots of firewood. I had so much that I didn’t order any more this winter and so I have very dry wood of two years and seasoned wood from last year. Because that seasoned wood has had an extra year, it burns well and fast. What I need is a big, old, gnarled knot that is freshly cut and will go in a hot fire and sit there forever and just radiate a slow heat.

Ah, the wind is picking up; wet snow and wind. Limbs and power lines. Nothing to do but wait and let my boots dry before another OHA- Outside House Activity.

Not a name that I think of daily, but of late the first line of one of his poems has been marching through my head in a continuous loop.

I sometimes think of all the crosses in the cemeteries at Normandy and other battlefields and wonder that each one represents a mother’s heart – and I guess a father’s too.

And maybe I am thinking this because I would like to die for something. After all, dying is inevitable, why can’t it stand for something as well. Perhaps that is what we should put on our tombstones – what we would have died for. But, then, like a beauty contest, so many would put world peace. I think I am not so altruistic;  if it were necessary I would die for someone I loved. Not even have to think about it; do it in a heartbeat  . . . or the lack of one.