I am trying out the unlimited reading program offerred by Amazon’s Kindle and I am going to claim that Amazon has played the role of enabler in my compulsion to avoid housework and chores in general. That may not be accurate, but it’s what I’m saying.

I am staring at a dotted red line in the first line of this post; the spelling Nazi wants me to remove the fourth “r” from offerred. I know that is the new computer spelling policy, but I always liked that “r” and I feel I owe it some loyalty. Of course, if the world runs short of “r’s” I guess I will have to take some of the responsibility. I can live with that.

But back to the unlimited reading. I am going to read now, but I must vow to stop early and go to sleep because Shane has his appointment tomorrow morning and we have to give him some early  pre-appointment medicine. It is going to be difficult because he has decided that he does not want anything squirted into his mouth. Why, I don’t know. Well, maybe I do; it could be because he is obstinate. Those jaws just clamp right down. He seems to get new quirks regularly, which worries me as to what might be coming next.

An increasingly eccentric AmeliaJake and an increasingly eccentric Shane may achieve critical mass. We’ll just need to time it for New Year’s Eve or the Fourth of July.

I had a nightmare last night, not the monster kind, but the type in which the scenario is edgy, to say the least. I woke up in this dream, thinking, Oh, I was dreaming, only to realize I had gone to sleep in the dream and awoken in it. If I had been unsettled before by the odd goings-on, including being in California in August and finding it snowing, the fake wake-up was really scary. Dead relatives were in it, including an aunt who had a large topless and bottomless Campbell’s  soup can on her foot because a doctor had prescribed it for a crooked foot.

Then there was the unknown toddler thing: A girl wandering around on unsteady legs. I was supposed to go to a school, but I couldn’t get the administration to acknowledge my presence. (That segment has been in my dreams before.) And, on top of everything – literally as well figuratively –  the curtains were failing down all over the place as the snow blew around outside.

I did not believe when I went to sleep last night I would be so glad to truly wake up to a request for help from the guy who badly sprained/possible re-injured his totally screwed-up bone and metal formerly broken lower leg/ankle just two days ago.

Monday Shane goes to the vet again; then in the afternoon, Mother’s cat has an appointment. My grass isn’t growing, but the weeds are . . . GRUMBLE; and this is not my year for tomato production: DRAT. It’s all better than the unknown toddler, the snow, and the school that was a deaf Horton who could not hear this AmeliaJake Who.

Watch this at  your own discretion.

Well, folks, here we are in August –  unless you are an Eastern DeKalb student/teacher/admin/ bus driver and so forth, then you are in August and doing school things.

Yesterday we took the scooter to the repair shop for a check-up and whatever all they do. It has to be kick started and wants to stall at a slow speed, so I had the idea of having someone ride it on the sidewalk to the big Honda store. One someone started and another someone finished. And the someone who finished caught his foot on concrete and after a while it hurt too much to walk on. Last night was X-ray time in the ER. It is not broken, only sprained. To help time pass while there, I loaded DOORS 4 on my phone and worked my way through 38 of the 40 before we left. Sigh. Perhaps instead of going through the normal ER procedure, I should have taken a hint from my game and looked around for a bookcase to move or a ball to roll to reveal the secret of the way out the door.

It is going to be an aspirin day.

There is an article on foxnews.com that has been brought to out attention and we want to point out that not only does it not implicate us, but that there is no evidence that the animals involved were not horses painted to look like cows, tanks painted to look like cows, people in cow suits. I don’t think I need to go on.

This is a public service announcement sponsored by Two Moo & Associates.

Yes. It is the last of July and yes, the temperature at 7 am was 49 degrees. I am surprised, but not complaining. What I would complain about, were I a student at Eastern DeKalb, is the knowledge that the first day of school is Friday, August 1st. East Noble starts on the 7th.

I have been sitting here thinking about that and have reached no conclusion other than to be glad it ain’t my generation. I was joking; the ain’t didn’t come from missing all those Augusts of education. I feel I should state that since taking things out of context is not unusual and because sarcasm, beginning with an “S” is not one of the Three “R”s,  and might have been left out of the September-June educational year. I, of course, obviously went to Summer School and got a double dose.

Well, sigh, I must rein in my comments and get ready to take the dog to the vet. I won’t say it aloud because: SEE SHANE RUN!

I opened my computer this morning and noticed that a lot of recent posts have appeared in Bold print. I do not know how that happened; I tried to update one or two as an experiment and the results were a little odd given what the dashboard was showing. I decided it was not/is not a big deal. Perhaps one day, I will take it in my head to investigate; meanwhile I will boldly/unboldly go where Star Trek ships have probably mapped out.

Obviously, I am in an extremely whimsical and laissez-faire mood this morning. In the back of my mind, there is a tickle that some of the younger generation may refer to this “WTF.” However, I don’t quite think the comparison is accurate. It is simply that this morning, I am putting things that do not require immediate attention on hold, not throwing everything to the wind with a vengeance.e

It was muggy  and warm yesterday and this morning the air again feels heavy – not hot and heavy like two years ago, but a change from the cool summer we’ve been having. Ah, how quickly we judge against  what was yesterday as opposed as to what was a year ago. That may be a good thing; I don’t believe I would want to wake every morning realizing how much different I felt from my 20’s.

SyFy has given Der Bingle a birthday person: Sharknado 2, but it is on Wednesday and he only has Apple TV in Fairborn. So, I guess we will have to manage to record it for him. We had a hot dog buffet with all sorts of toppings and corn on the cob and cake. And for one month and one day, he is one year older than I.

Oh, and when we went to the store, Der Bingle bought fresh kohlrabi with the leaves still on it. He held it up and I took a picture and sent it to LZP and Quentin, but I will not post it here – because it was blurry. Not because I am worried about someone Googling Man with Kohlrabi and landing here. Rose questioned my sincerity in that conclusion, but even Rose can be sort of maybe wrong.

Just a few months ago I would have romped in 60 degree weather; this morning at 6:30, it felt uncomfortably chilly and damp. I put a space heater on my feet. How did this snow shoveling person at negative degrees become so thermometer wimpy? Just one of those anomalies I suppose.

Today I am going to have to prime myself like an old-fashioned pump to get myself working. However, this little voice keeps broadcasting from my being: She’s NOT ready for priming yet. STAY BACK.

Perhaps I need a late in life career change, something that has a little pizazz – Say, maybe a hit man?

There are times when I am referring to some stranger that I’ve seen and I’ll say “old woman” and then I think, Oh, she’s probably younger than I am.