I’ve been caught up in so many routine errands of living that somewhere along the line, I stopped thinking about things that don’t have actual dimensions. This afternoon, though, I’ve found myself pulling together impressions of the past 36 hours or so and winding up in a territory such as what one would find in a Stephen King novel.

I have the distinct sense that I have seen, if not full-blown evil, than what I find myself calling a varmint – a varmint acting and shaped like a human, but with a badness coming through as a cloud that might at any moment coalesce into a nightmarish miasma. It is a intuitive suggestion that what you know is too awful to be real  is, indeed, real and you know fear is coming. And that “indeed” back there in that sentence, well, it is more of a breathless OH MY GOD.

I am very aware of standing at a sidewalk cafe, cup in hand, with the sun warming both air and the pavement just beyond the shade of the awning, watching normal things go by – actions that happen everyday and never trigger a thought.  And then, across the scene one car passes and you see the hunching driver as a hunching blob that is maybe the essence of the wolf that ate a grandma.

You know that part about, “But  your ears are so big” and so forth? Well, maybe it is the individual features. The mouth, perhaps. The mouth that is just a little bit different in every way from an average feature, a normal feature. Not that there is disfigurement or malformation, just the perception that it is straining to hold steady the lines of the plump upper lip before a giant maw opens.

Only it is not a Stephen King horror story; it is actually something real, but capable of causing great distress. Such an odd feeling. I’ve seen people I’ve thought looked mean, cruel, sharp, testy, but to have a visual memory of one who looks blurred and ominous is unsettling.

Is this what becomes of the things that skulk under a child’s bed, that go bump in the night? Well, for Stephen King, it made him a lot of money; I’m afraid there may be other outcomes. Breaking even might seem like a big win, come to think of it.

While I was mowing Thursday, my daughter-in-law’s mother passed away in Cincinnati. It has been a hectic few days and today I took Alison down to Cincinnati for her mother’s funeral this coming Wednesday. There is not a lot to say at times like this, so I will leave people to their thoughts.

This is better than being behind the mower for five hours, pushing and manhandling it under bushes and such.  It got a little bouncy on the rider – maybe because I was giving it a little too much gas.  I do not have a farmer’s tan now; I have a rider mower’s little old lady tan – LL Bean shorts and mesh-vented shirt with roll-up  sleeves and a hat with a mesh crown.  I walked into Walmart that way and one old gent said, “I like your lid.” Catching sight of myself in the mirror, I could see it was beat up and the brim bent in an odd way. I try to smile when I look like this and hope people will think: Kook, but harmless.

That’s what it says on weather.com. Right now the humidity is very high and it is predicted to be so after the storms, so I guess it will be a sticky day. I don’t feel like humidity today; I don’t really crave that “tough guy, I can take it” you get when the sweat is rolling down your body and your hair is soaking wet. That’s right – today I can’t take it.

I am going to sit in the air-conditioning and wonder why I am such a wimp this morning. I dare not nap, lest the ghosts of the Panama Canal diggers haunt my dreams.

I’ve been giving this some thought. I’ve watched HGTV and lots of shows about decorating – not because I like to decorate, but because I like to see the different ideas people have and how much personal taste influences how welcoming and comforting a space can be to a family – or with the wrong flooring, lighting and a hundred other things, how alienating a place can feel.

Hardwood or carpet . . . or tile?
Vertical blinds or lace curtains or no window coverings at all or voluminous draping masses of material?
What style of kitchen?
Oh, and Heaven help anyone who guesses what someone else would like for a wall covering.
Basement to work in? Basement to relax in? Basement to provide a space for jumping up and down full of energy kids?

That’s probably why custom homes are in all the magazines and why professionally decorated homes of the rich are in those same magazines. Of course, some people just want a roof over their heads that doesn’t leak; some people want to make a statement; most of us are like Goldilocks – we like things “Just right.” And that brings us back to architects and decorators and the expenditure of money.

But let’s say you can’t start from square one with an expensive architect and a completely blank drawing board, along with a fashionable decorator. So how can you make your own home out of a “used” house?

On the other hand, let’s say you have a “used” house – the one you are living in – and you are thinking, “How can I stage this house to attract buyers?” Yes, that word STAGE . . . Well, you can go neutral and then someone will want to change the color. Or you can go trendy and dramatic and a potential conservative buyer will think, if not outright exclaim, “Oh, Gawd!” It’s a guessing game.

It would be interesting if there were an eharmony for buying and selling – a business that facilitated changing one person’s house into another’s home.

I have been walking my path around Kendallville for three years now and it dawned on me that once I had adapted to walking, I was simply using the same muscles over and over again. Now that’s good for my heart muscle, but my legs have lots of muscles and some of them were not being used. I noticed this especially when I was walking with the sun behind me and my shadow nice and clear in front of me. It was disconcerting to see the flesh on my inner thighs jiggle with every step and at first I thought, “I need to walk more.” –  the “We need a bigger boat” Jaws signature line.

Thinking about it some more, I decided I needed to try different strides, having my little duck legs really stretch out. Right away, muscles that had been silent started yelling at me, threatening to burn and ache in the morning. It was effective blackmail – I walked with a longer stride intermittently, going back to my accustomed gait quite often.

I do look like a silent movie comedy scene when I stretch out my legs in steps geared to gulp up the sidewalk. I don’t think about that; it’s better that way.  Of course, not thinking about it does not mean that other people are not watching me go past and thinking, “That lady ain’t quite right.” Once you realize that is happening, you figure, heck, you might as go whole hog.

I decided that it would work more muscles, including those at my waist, if I zig-zagged from one side of the sidewalk to the other with my legs, while keeping my upper body aimed straight down the middle. It turns out it has also helped strengthen my knees and ankles because I am altering the stress put on them. It also turned out that I appear to be not certain of where I am going – maybe a little tipsy. Add to that an occasional stumble and Voila, there you have it, the little old lady who takes too many “medicinal” nips from the Elderberry wine.

I considered doing some upper arm exercise while walking, but figured that would put me in the Jim Beam category and/or at an interview for what is politically incorrectly called the “funny farm”  – and not in the HA HA sense of the word.

On top of everything else, I occasionally put a white moisturizer on my face because the perspiration makes it lose its color and expanding pores soak in the cleansing elements. It takes me awhile to get enough sweat on my face to turn the white to clear and given the white face, the zig-zags and the frequent lunging steps, I suspect I look not only tipsy, but like a clown.

Well, that might not be far from the truth.

I thought about titling this post: Where did the italics come from? because when I looked at the site, almost all the post had switched to that font – and I believe some things in the sidebar. I don’t know. Maybe it will come to me; maybe not. I did get an email I ignored that said WordPress had automatically updated. Whatever.

I’m not going to sweat it because we have been sweating a lot here today pruning a tree in the backyard and getting ready to repaint the fence. One limb was longer and deader than we thought and it fell down outside the fence. I ran around to get it and discovered it had fallen on one of the neighbor’s little lights by his driveway. No one was home, so I left a note. I think the little connector flipped off, but I am not certain how to get it back on and sitting and sweating in someone’s driveway with parts of a light was rather embarrassing. So, I covered it up with plastic, stuck a marker in beside it and left a note in a baggie at the back door.

My granddaughter learned that saying, “I’m going to saw that thin branch” and actually doing it involve different levels of effort. She was feeling her bicep; I don’t think logging is in her future.

It is supposed to rain/storm this afternoon right about now, but we went ahead and watered Fern anyway, in case the forecast is wrong and in case she is too protected by the tree she’s under. I think I may need to put some Miracle Gro on her.  Once Quentin and I were using Miracle Gro and I read the directions wrong and for a long time we thought it was supposed to be a brilliant sky blue liquid. I am not a master gardener.

Well, darn, it’s still bugging me about the italic thing and I’m going to have to investigate. So much for my “whatever” comment.