On Wednesday mornings, when the show is on a provider that is in addition to cable, I watch “1,000 lb Sisters” and I cringe.  I feel bad that I look at these women and think how fat and sometimes outright stupid they are and enjoy doing it. I think it is because I find myself thinking that at least I’m not a total fat ball. And because their grammar is not the greatest and I think (know) I look down on them for that. And inside I feel good because my grammar is, for the most part, really good.  So this is what it has come to for me to have a little sense of self worth. Only, the fact that I do it is testimony to my lack of self esteem and shame at my lack of achievement. Crap. And to top it off, I had parents who made certain I got an education and stressed reading.

I can write this here because no one reads it and so it more or less a fake admission of  being unjustly judgemental and unkind. I don’t know if there is a just judgemental category, but let’s not debate that now.

I should feel better having gotten that off my chest, but since I have spent all the time since puberty being “bustless”, I’m a little touchy about the phrase “getting  it off your chest.” Oh, that was a stretch at an attempt at humor.

What brought this topic up today? It is Wednesday morning; the episode is over; I have to wait a week for another fix. Sad, sad, sad.

Also on Wednesday is routine of clipping the digital coupons from the Kroger website. It can be a little stress since there are weeks when you have to click about a hundred to ensure your Kroger Discount card will trigger the savings. Some weeks you only have to clip maybe 10, BUT you have to study the ad to figure out the Mix and Match Savings of one dollar on each item. Then you really want to get inexpensive items that you really do need so your percentage of savings is higher.  This could be a big boost to dieting, dontcha know – just relax for a week, don’t buy food and scrounge what is in the bottom of the refrigerator.

I’m not typing anything more today because I have a crack in the skin of one of  my fingers due to the dry, cold air. But at least I don’t have to go outside and feed the cattle.