I am not a farmer . . . but I like to eat

I have repeated postponed my trip to the cemetery because of the rain and storms; Thursday was supposed to be clear when I looked this morning. Now it is again in the thunderstorm 70-80% range. I am going.

I am going to be passing by fields that have not been planted because of the constant rain and I am very glad I am not under the pressure that farmers are feeling. And maybe when it stops raining, it won’t start again until everything is parched. Not a good thought.

I am not a farmer, as I said, but I am thinking about the prices that will be in the grocery stores in the future. I’ve been dieting and I may encounter a real economic incentive as opposed to a waistline one.

Der Bingle is from Iowa – corn country – and the word from there is that the fields are under water.

I wonder if they are tar and feathering rainmakers.

Dandelion attack – weather permitting

We have had rain, drizzle, sprinkles, whipping rain, hard rain and really overcast skies. Today it is overcast, but according to the guru at weather.com, there is a 0% chance of rain. That means I can go all eco-unfriendly and spray for weeds and dandelions.

You will notice I separated weeds from dandelions. That is because in my war against the little, insistent smiling faces that turn into puff balls and grow out of a green plant body that looks like a spider from a science fiction movie, I have received a lot of information about all the good things  for which dandelions can be used for. So, okay, I will mitigate my stance and not call them weeds. Having said that, if the skies remain cloudy and don’t produce rain, it’s D-Day for the little guys.

There was a time when I had a long garden instrument to dig out dandelion roots; it wasn’t too effective at keeping then at bay, although people could drive by our house on a hill in West Chester, Ohio and think, “Oh, what a fine environmentalist she is.” Of course, quite a lot who drove by knew me and I’m sure that they then thought, “Nah, she’d prefer to shoot them – this is just a front for the HOA.”

I will give it a couple of hours to make certain the grass is dry and then I will make my move.

SHHHHHHH . . . don’t tell.

(My weight is around X -1, but let’s keep that quiet also.)

I lost my car key in my car

This is a cautionary tale for car drivers, or it could be considered a horror story; I share because I need to get at least some use out of it.
I have a key that does not go in the ignition, it just has to be in the car and when I got in to go to Krogers, I placed it on the console. After I had parked and was ready to get out, I picked up the key and it slid out of my fingers and between the seat and said console.

This prompted a word of frustration, but it is not the first time something has gotten lodged in that area. No problem, right? NO. The key disappeared. Really. I know because I searched for 15 minutes using the flashlight option on my phone and moving the seat back and forth.

When I was leaning in, reaching down between the seat and console, my hand got stuck. I tugged and nothing. I tugged and tugged like the wolf huffed and puffed, and I probably looked like a pig with legs sticking out the door, scissoring around as I tried to get leverage. I thought of animals who gnaw their paw off from a trap. Finally, my hand came loose, but the key remained missing.

But the key couldn’t be not in the car and so I finally pushed the starter button and drove over to Jiffy Lube and begged for a favor.
They were very helpful and located the key wedged on top of the motor that moves the seat. They kind of grinned, but that’s okay. I really don’t mind being the old lady who lost her key right under her seat; I was just grateful to get it in my hand again – the hand with the scrape marks from being stuck itself.

Here’s my word of caution: consider taping your remote key to your body every morning and just poking yourself when you want to lock or unlock the doors, or access the trunk.

Ants

Such a short, mundane post title. Actually, if I could use a frustrated, resigned sighing emoji I would. They were not in my kitchen yesterday; today I picked up a cup and looked in it and THERE THEY WERE. I will have to get some of those little hexagonal ant traps or poisoning devices – whatever they are – and place them all around. Then I will have to go into the back vestibule and spray where it shares a wall with a window with the kitchen. Of course, I will see the window and admit that I really should clean that window (not to mention its compatriots in all the rooms of this house) and I will sigh again.

By the way, when I was writing about my weight loss crusade, I said last time to wait for the update. Just stand right where you were then and you’ll be at the update place. I would sigh with resignation and frustration, but I used up my reserve on the ants. Still, it is not going up and I am actually using weights to aid strengthening my muscles . . . the trick is not to put them down and them trip over them, faceplanting myself and winding up recuperating in bed while stuffing my face.