I have never been little Miss Sunshine

No surprise there for anyone who has known me for over five minutes; even if I haven’t opened my mouth, I am known for my suddenly appearing Look of Death face that says it all.

So, yes, this is a short tirade of irritation about paragraphs in articles that people write that could be written in a foreign language for all the sense they convey. I just battled my way through one sentence that made up an entire paragraph, and I had to launch an investigative team to locate the verb. Their report was inconclusive.

I went through high school a long, long time ago and we had to diagram sentences in the form of a tree branch with twigs sticking out and twiglets sticking out from them. AND WE HAD TO LABEL THEM. We had years of English grammar and literature classes that were separate. Two hours a day of language.

So now I can’t find the verb in a sentence written by someone who has used really big words to state (I think) an opinion? Are all my brain cells dying? This was an article for average folks – not a secret message from one member of the intelligentsia to another. Or was it? Did I stumble on a message that has vital information on an invasion . . . or a stock tip?

Maybe the writer could see me trying to read his piece and, instead of sneering and using the contemptuous parlance of the day -HEY DUMMY, FCUK YOU, he was opting for GO OBFUSCATE YOURSELF, MORON.

Ok, so this probably isn’t going to be one of my better days; I’ll set out flares.