If you think I’ve been out of touch, well, it’s nothing compared to Guido the Bat. I have been looking for him for two weeks. Der Bingle and I have been down on our tummies looking under chairs in sofas in Indiana and Ohio.
I suppose he could be on a secret mission, but it’s not like him to be gone for over an hour . . . and it has been days, weeks. I’ve been so upset I’ve been cleaning. I have shaken blankets, clothes, boxes, bags and baskets. No Guido.
I distracted myself for a couple of hours this afternoon by sitting hearthside and watching The Sea Wolves with David Niven, Roger Moore and Trevor Howard. Maybe I was trying to lure him home.
OH, MY DEAR GUIDO: WHERE ARE YOU????
To right or not to write? Right off the bat, I thought:write off the bat! Then I remembered that Indiana bats are endangered. If I had one, I could save Hugh Tweedy’s farm,the Mississippi River, the town of Keokuk, the State of Iowa and the entire Midwest. Find that bat! —–He may be holding the whole Cosmos together.
Guido tells me he was drawn back by the promise of your slick as ice punning and your true understanding of his importance – not to mention his concern for Hugh Tweedy’s farm. Actually, if you have a belfry with a soda machine and a comfy chair, he is at your beck and call – just give him a ring.