Holy Moses, it’s going to be one heck of a job

I forgot that before we had the burying blizzards of January, we had some early lingering snowfalls that covered the final pile of leaves that had not made it out to the street. I remember thinking at the time of that first early snowfall,”Well, as soon as it melts off, I’ll scoop them on the tarp and get them out of here.” It didn’t work out that way.

What I have out there just inside the gate is a semi-frozen mashed down pile of yucky leaves. I just pushed all the cliches about journeys and first steps and Rome and its one day caution out of my mind, and let my shoulders slump as I whimpered.

It’s in the 40’s and I, we all know, am in my mid-sixties, so I just scraped off the top layer that was melting and shoved it over to where someone can tarp it in the dark of night and get it out of here. Of course, that is just the top layer, remember. I have exposed the next layer which is still frozen and will wait for it to become slushy enough to scrape up. And so forth – although I think it’s going to take more than just a fourth try.

Another fact for Ripley’s Believe it or Not: People drop a million things in the cold snow when it’s below zero and don’t want to stick a hand in to retrieve them. They do not dissolve; they stay right where they are and wait.

I need to think of a yard-cleaning scam. Oh, that’s so awful. What is more awful are the scam ideas that are percolating in my brain. Devious, conniving . . . worthy of evil gnomes.