OLD KOOK

First of all, I really am not certain of the spelling of Old Kook’s name – not that I don’t have the “Old” part down, although, now that I think about it, it could be “Ole”. Pushing that to the back for right now, it is the “Kook” part that gives me pause; could it be his nickname was Cuke, as in cucumber. Maybe he loved those green, oblong things; I don’t know.

We were watching news coverage of the impending Frankenstorm yesterday in the Peanut Butter Cafe & Roadhouse, when a tall gent walked in, ordered a regular foldover and a drink and quietly munched and watched the TV with us. When he came in, he said, “Old Kook says hi.” When he left, he said, “Old Kook will see you later.”

Now, my father-in-law knew an Old Kook; perhaps this is the same one – a peanut butter eating time traveller, since both men have passed away. My father-in-law would think not because he was not really a whimsical person; he was more of a story-joke person. Der Bingle and I would listen to some of his jokes and then laugh, although I confided on more than one occasion to Der Bingle that while I was listening to the story-joke, I was also praying I would recognize the punchline.  Der Bingle understood my concern.

However, there was one story that my father-in-law told that has become a a trigger for instant laughter. It was not a long story: Old Kook was at a gathering spot when a brawl broke out. He yelled, “Count Old Kook in,” and joined the fray. A minute  (or less) later, he came crawling out under a table while calling out, “Count Old Kook out.”

This was a minor laugh story to my father-in-law, but it struck Der Bingle and me at a burst out guffawing level. I think I remember my father-in-law watching our response in confused surprise. I mean, to him it was mildly funny, but we thought it was FUNNY – as in have to open your mouth so your cheeks don’t explode funny.

That was decades ago, and as Virginia learned in The Sun that there will always be a Santa, so there is forever an Old Kook. We are happy he is in the neighborhood and will keep a cucumber in the fridge in case it really is Old Cuke and he wants a slice or two on his foldover.