I don’t like to do windows, but I do them because I want to stay warm and cut down on heating costs. Yes, I am talking about putting plastic on my windows. Some think this is tacky; when the temperature is really down there and the wind is blowing, I really don’t care. Heck, I don’t care anyway.

I have this down to a science AND an art form, but it is boring work, and where the porch windows (11 of them) are concerned, a bit awkward. It is a long job because I have eight window panels in the den alone, eight in the living room and . . . well, a whole bunch lots of other places. They are crank out panels – wooden, with eight individual panes, but that is another story in itself.

I have storm windows that fit inside the crank outs . . .but do you have any idea how much annoying air can trickle through the glazing of 64 individual panes and then around the cut outs in the storm windows to accommodate the cranking mechanism? Well, it’s actually not a whole lot, but it’s annoying when you are trying to be cozy and don’t want to set the thermostat too high.

So, it is plastic film and hair dryer time . . . again.  3M is super, super clear and more expensive but it takes me through a couple of winters with a crystal clear, but snug, view through the den windows that make up about two walls and are above two sofas. The 30 foot living room can be fairly cozy too, with Scotch 3M between the storm windows and the 8-paned crank outs. There is another brand, in a green box, that is almost as clear and I use that on more out of the way windows.

Why am I writing these paragraphs about the minutiae of window draughts? Well, because I am shamelessly soliciting sympathy. Do  you know how overwhelming a veritable multitude of windows, plastic window film and  . . . wait for it . . . double stick tape can be – not to mention the hair dryer of shrinkage?

Now, there is part two: the new crank-out windows in the rooms that were added on. You know – the modern windows – the upgrades.  There are eight of them in the sitting room above the den and guess what? All that glass surface gets a chill to it. But those eight windows are in banks of four, and in each bank, each window is set back in its own little casing. Sixteen personally cut expanses of 3M plastic to fit in without showing.  Sigh.

Oh, I know drapes are a big help in cold climates and they are fine at night, but in daylight I like to take advantage of windows . . . so I’m biting the bullet and starting in on this task. Will I have any hair left after pulling some out in frustrations and accidents with double stick tape? It is questionable.

Okay, I’m a wimp and I vented. Oh rats! Slap my face for that unintentional pun. Not to hard . . . remember the wimp factor.