Last night we watched TV footage of cars sliding and slipping all over the area. The Toll Road, which was built partially on our old farmland, was a parking lot – semis could not make the small inclines and many vehicles went off the road. Had Mother been home she would have seen a ribbon of headlights and taillights in the distance out back. Or, wait, there was heavy fog; she probably would have seen nothing – not even the old schoolhouse.

Of course, some people would say she wouldn’t see the old schoolhouse because it is no longer there. Well, that’s true, but after around a hundred years of being there, we locals just call the air above the site “the old schoolhouse”.

A few days ago I was in a wind chill of -23 and more; now the warm rain is washing away snow. Oh, did I mention they cancelled the ice carving festival at Shipshewana? Well, the did. The guys did the best they could on the small blocks of ice, but the weather wouldn’t permit the combined blocks to fuse for the giant statues.

Many big sales . . . but few could get to them, although I think maybe today the mall will be filled with sopping shoppers.

I have started my rehabilitation program – I lay on the floor in the pre-exercise position. I am cutting back on diet soda and going for the citrus flavored iced tea drinks.

Lordy, this sounds like a memo with a little clickety click rhythm. I will report for posting therapy . . . and then maybe I will look at all the slashed prices in the ads. Yes, yes . . . that sounds promising. Gosh, I feel my pocket getting hot – better hurry to beat the hole.

We had enough of a break in the weather that I could scurry over to the nursing home to see Mrs. Feller and take the cookies Alison and Summer made – and a can of candy. Plus 34 episodes of Bonanza with three bonus episodes of Wagon Train with Ward Bond. Kathryn got a phone call and when she came back, I was the one almost napping on the bed. I will say this: It was warm and cozy in their room and the bed was – I think I’m quoting someone here – just right.

The eggs are boiling for deviling, but right now I have my legs stretched out on the sofa and my shoes are off. oooooooooh. stretching and streeeeeettttccchhhing and then do it some more. Oh, golly gee, it feels so good.

Ah, I forgot about the devilled eggs . . . so another trip to the grocery. One of probably many last-minute forays. I have a tradition of closing down a nice department store on Christmas Eve and sucking in the Christmas Eve spirit – sometimes at Chili’s. But we are in the middle of partially melted ice and new ice coming. So . . . it is . . . wait for it . . .  Wal-Mart and Kroger’s.

Soon I must poke the turkey and see if he is defrosting on schedule of if we need the cold water treatment – and the turkey breast which will be tucked under his legs, not to mention the extra drum sticks. It is a big roaster. A big old roaster.

Two salads are made and on the top shelf of the refrigerator – Strawberry Pretzel with cream cheese and cool whip and butter and brown sugar and strawberry jello and strawberries and a lemon-lime affair with pineapple and jello and cream cheese and cool whip and sugar and pecans. Today I will tackle the Buttermilk salad, if I can find the recipe. The recipes for the first two are on mimeographed green paper with duct tape holding the torn folds together. On one, Mother has written “very good”.

i do not like to cook or bake, so my Christmas present for folks is to suck it up and just do it. I have found the Christmas plates and now must re-start this sucking up business and head for the kitchen.

I will be dancing with the deviled egg in the pale moonlight.

I do not know the Smurfs’ names; I did not know they had names. I did not know the recently-stated admission until about five minutes ago when I decided to take the quiz on how your mind works. I thought it would be a series of pictures and the questions would be along the lines of: What did you see first in this picture? Can you identify this part of a whole? What color appeared dominant? and whatever else. But, the little push button to take you to the quiz just led to a batch of multiple choice questions. And one of those questions wanted you to name your favorite Smurf. I had to randomly pick one; there was no “I have no idea who these guys are other than part of a blue group.”  I had issues with a couple of other questions as well, sort of like a witness being forced to answer “yes or no” and not allowed to add an important condition.

Example:

Was the phone ringing?

Yes, but it is faulty and rings all the time.

or

No, it is broken.

But back to Smurfs. I remember when they were popular;  I remember when Christmas paper featured them for one year . . . and then everyone realized blue folks didn’t go too well with red and green decorations. I did not know they had names, although I am acquainted with Cindy Lou Who of Grinch fame.

Oh well. One thing, though, the quiz didn’t want to know who my favorite Duggar is.

I’m logical, by the way. Old, but logical. But I suspect that is only when I am not in my customized alternate universe.

I have a copy of “Absence of Malice”; Sally Field, Paul Newman, the Quaker Oats man – Wilford Brimley. Made in 1981, the year Quentin was born; we watched it on VHS in Palatine. I could go in a grab it and stick it in the machine anytime, but I don’t. But this morning, I turned on AMC and a movie with Jennifer Jones and a very young Rock Hudson was just ending and the screen popped up with “Next . . . Absence of Malice” and I took it as a Christmas Stocking gift . So here I sit, watching – all cozy and warm with Sydney – just waiting for the really good scenes where Eliot Rosen “gets it.”

Well with the old fahrenheit way down in the trenches, it has occurred to me that there may be a school delay tomorrow so no little kids will be standing in the dark and cold waiting for the bus.  And if we get precipitation, schools may close. Ho ho ho –  a little crew of elves to pick up all the clutter and clean rooms. and then, just maybe, we might have a movie afternoon with popcorn and treats.

Oh, yeah . . . the wind is pretty strong – making the “feels like” temperature -9?.

Ice outside and lights inside

Well, this is Bob after Alison decorated him.

Der Bingle is here and he has this idea: How about grilling hamburgers on the outdoor gas grill? Uh, the high today is supposed to be 23 and then there is the wind chill. Well, if he wants to try it . . .  We are still a sea of ice and it took him 4 1/2 hours to get here instead of the usual three. He drove the speed limit and under and said he thought the Georgia plates encouraged people to give him plenty of space.

This morning I assembled the angel wreath . . . and you know those angels were getting pretty feisty about who got what position. I guess if an angel gets too hot under the halo, she’ll have to be put on probation. And then I would need replacement, so I strung a line of small bells across the wreath . . . because every time a bell rings, an angel gets her wings, dontcha know. We also have a monk on the wreath . . . he brought the chips.

Well, yes the door to the backyard from the porch will not open – it is frozen. I think the wind swirled freezing rain and snow into every crevice in that location. Fortunately, the back vestible door is working and Sydney was able to get out. But we are not going anyway – the car doors are iced closed and the roads are slick.

And, of course, there is NO SCHOOL.

Cameron and Summer came to tell me and then waited for my customary “Noooooooooooooooo!”

Yesterday was sunny and I was at the mall. I had chow mein for lunch in the food court. Today I am here and I guess lunch will be a peanut butter crunchy foldover.

Not too crowded yesterday . . . the day before the ice storm.

One week and it will be Christmas. I think I would like it to be two weeks until Christmas and the calendar just stay there for awhile. Alison is after me to get a picture of the tree and I keep forgetting so perhaps I will have a picture of a pile of needles for Christmas 2008. Oh, I kid. I will do it and I bet I’ll even post it.

Oh, gee, just remembered that I have pictures still in the camera of the Chick-Fil-A cow dressed in a Santa suit at Glenbrook’s food court.

Is this a beefeater I see before me?

Alison’s chinese food; my chow mein was shy.

Cow looking at me.

As I said, I was eating chow mein so the cow didn’t glare at me . . . the way he/she did at the man eating Burger King.

UPDATE: The car is covered in ice – I mean if you could pop the actually car out, you would have a perfect crystal clear ice mold. The car is also frozen to the driveway; Allen County is on a Level 2 emergency and it is not supposed to get above 31 here.

Oh, dear, I’m watching TV and there is every indication that there will be no school tomorrow. I should have been more moderate in my exuberance yesterday morn. But . . . but, if they don’t go to school, will they learn the word “exuberance” and how to spell it? See, it is important, and it is my duty to worry that they are not schooled enough.

Oh, well, today they are going; maybe they will learn the word incorrigible.

Spur of th moment decision: trip to Fort Wayne.