Category Archives: The Peanut Butter Cafe & Roadhouse

Two days of sun!

70 big DEGREES and it is sunny today. Tomorrow is also supposed to be sunny. Be still my celebrating heart . . . and my mind, such as it it. I feel like going out and pulling all the sun’s rays into my brain and letting them do their chemical chores. This has been a year of clouds and, for the first time in my life, I truly appreciate how important it is to see the sun at least now and then.  I think I was on the verge of developing “brain scurvy” and I believe I could feel my brain cells loosening and getting ready to fall out.

Here is Northern Indiana we learn to take advantage of sunny days. Heck, when I moved to Sacramento decades ago, I about killed myself taking advantage of them. There were so many . . . every day – on and on – until it started to rain. Back then I was celebrating the clouds and rain the way I am celebrating the sun now.

But what to do about this messy house that is now beyond cluttered because the dreary days have been so spirit-sapping? A magic wand would be very welcome . . . and then there is that granddaughter who wants to make money. How about a Merry Maid uniform for her? Or should I give her a rag to wrap around her head, an apron, a bucket and sturdy shoes.

Then again, maybe a pagan dance to honor the Neatness Goddess would do the trick. I wonder if we would have to get naked? Well, the backyard is fenced in  . . .

Update: Oh, what was my first clue I had forgotten to take my medicine this morning. I’ll go ahead and swallow some pills and see how the naked pagan dance sounds then.

Sinus

I forgot that the smartest thing to do when one has a slight tingling in the nose is to stay away from certain irritants. I fogot and I went into Rural King and walked down the fertilizer and weed killer aisles.

What I should have done then  -in true 911 fashion – would have been a to drive to Taco Bell. I thought about it but I couldn’t trust myself to stand in line; I was afraid I would run over to the sauce bin and start ripping the fire and hot ones open – snorting them. I would have no doubt screamed, “Give me a volcano burrito NOW!”

Also, I had Summer with me and a taco to her is like a cross to a vampire.

I have ingested Alka-Seltzer Cold & Sinus and have been sitting with my head tilted in the “drip” position. The latter is not working but I believe the former has kicked in some. For awhile there, I felt like clawing my forehead, eyes, nose, cheeks and upper teeth out of my face.

I actually sat here and thought, “Be the nasal passage ducts and feel yourself relaxing and opening up.” That’s a desperate try with alternative medicine, dontcha know. I put a space heater in front of me and leaned into the air flow. My head feels well enough now that I have progressed to the possibility of a liberating sneeze phase. And I have moved my head from the heater air stream and stuck my feet down by it.

Ah, relief.

I eat my dogs’ food

I did it just a little while ago. I ate what in our house is dog food. I caught myself doing it.

Actually, it is not technically the dogs’ food; it is the dog’s food. Shane is four and Sydney is 14 and you can’t make Shane eat something different. Well, you could, but that might lead to interesting protests.

You see, here’s the scoop: Sydney has chronic pancreatitis and eats pot roast (Manager’s Special) cooked in a crock pot and rice with a wee bit of high end actual dog food added for vitamins.

Yes, Shane and Sydney eat better than we do. But today when I was cutting up the roast into little chewy pieces, I stuck a couple of bites in my mouth. Oh, it was sooooo good.

I thought, “AmeliaJake, you are eating dog food!” Then I looked around quickly to see if one of the dogs had seen me. I imagined Shane herding me over to the Purina Dog Food in the special package and telling me to have at it. Insisting that I chomp down some lamb and rice pellets as well. Not leaving until I had.

Fortunately, the incident passed without consequence.

Of course, you realize I don’t just put in a layer of dry dog food, a layer of rice and a layer of roast. No, I gently mix it with my hands so it is a nice blend and then I put it in the microwave for 20 seconds until it is just right.

I come by this naturally; my dad would buy Socrates and Miss Alice their own Dairy Queen cones.

That reminds me – I need to purchase a single small geranium to put on the place where Miss Alice’s ashes rest. That would be right above my dad’s casket. There will also be a big urn-like pot with with a big geranium, fern and a spike. Shoot, that tugs at my heartstrings.

And now I’ve got myself thinking about him putting out flags on graves on Memorial and Veteran’s Day for the American Legion.  Auggghhh, now my throat is tight.

Grand Weed of the Dandelion Federation

A Gnomist, the Grand Weed of the Dandelion Federation, is shown in this secret photo. Note: The Grand Weed often wears sunglasses on his face as well as his shirt.

Although scouts  pull reconnaissance duty – going  through neighborhoods, looking for lush green lawns to invade –  the GW*  has been known to make forays of his own as he relives his days in the ranks. You know, out in the field – so to speak – sizing up potential locations.

That is what he was doing when this – did we mention secret – photo was taken.

We also have a photo of The Grand Weed making Dandelion Angels in a lawn that was carpeted by the little yellow insurgents. Because to publish it would give away the identity of our agent, we will wait until we have safely brought him in from the yellow.

*Any resemblance to Santa Claus is purely coincidental.