I was sitting here, practically blahhed out of my head – and a little grumpy, when I decided to trudge out to look at the mail. HA! Guess what? This:

Let me explain. LZP sent an ambassador from Gnomdelion and I mentioned in passing, or maybe during one of interrogation sessions, that he looked like a sock puppet. So I get a note from LZP, notifying me he is sending an official hat to wear during ceremonies with the ambassador. I figured it would be a big yellow thing that would make me represent a (cough, choke, cough) dandelion on a fat stem. I even mentioned to Der Bingle that I would probably wind up with bumblebees flying around my head.

I was wrong, as you can see. I could get a better picture, but that would involve letting someone see me. I am not ready for that yet.

Contrary to those experiences people have about a brush with death, my mood today is so blah it is a near-life experience. I need to modify that and say that I am overwhelmingly blah with a good dash of the grumps.
I got up this way. For all you know, I might have embedded a temporarily invisible video that any moment is going to show a monster coming out of the screen to bite you. But, I didn’t. I’m just sitting here.

Listening to someone tell in detail about a dream that was seemingly never-ending and convoluted can be, well, not all that interesting. I like it better when things are encapsulated, such as when Alison said yesterday that in her night’s dream I told her I would have to go the hospital because I had slipped on a deviled egg.

Now, last night, I had one of those goes on forever dreams and it was about all the incredible setbacks of trying to negotiate the way home from a point some miles away. Believe me, it was detailed and convoluted. One thing, though, occurred to me when I was reflecting about my dream this morning: I was supposed to carry something with me and at times I would find I did not have it. So I would sigh and retrace my steps until I had found it. I wasn’t happy about it, but I did it.

So, maybe, I have a bit of responsibility in me.

Oh, wait, Rose and Sophie are telling me it was just a nocturnal aberration.

It started with the Maid-Rite issue – a picture of a supposedly loose meat sandwich on an Internet news page. I clicked on that picture and spent a couple of days tapping on my keyboard and hearing about steamburgers and church ladies.

Ex: I sat many times on those little chairs over at the Denver (Illinois) church eating steamburgers. Approximate quote from Der Bingle. We have one of those little chairs; Der Bingle’s grandparents – members of that Denver church – freshly painted one and gave it to our older son when he was about a year old. I remember that day well.

Well, anyway, today I caught the word “wasabi” in the group of suggested articles. I like wasabi and apparently it has health benefits. I clicked on the tiny picture and saw the big ugly-looking thing.

Maybe calling it ugly is judgmental; no maybe about it, really, and I’m wrong, wrong for even flinching at all. I don’t think too many people would want to have some company make wasabi-looking lights for a Christmas tree, though.
Well, I’m not going to think about it anymore.

Okay, I think I am getting a handle on this. First of all, Maid-Rite sandwiches are browned or steamed ground beef mixed with various stuff and served on a bun. See recipes. My Loose Meat Sandwich is just browned and well-drained ground beef on a bun, period. MEAT, BUN, NOTHING ELSE.
So, a Maid-Rite is a sandwich that includes loose meat, but it is not a pure loose meat sandwich. In fact, some of the “stuff” added in may very well cause the meat to stick together. I would say Maid-Rite is using the description loose meat loosely.

Oh, my gosh, the nightmares, which are better, I suppose, than nightcows, who keep waking me up to get them drinks of water. Okay, the nightmares obviously affected more than I thought. Come to think of it, maybe the cows did send the mares because of my starting a post title with Holy Cow and then writing around ground meat.
But, never mind that, back to the night. I woke up with a start at three, coughing and asking myself if my throat was sore and if now I was getting a cold. I thought about; got up, checked the furnace because it felt cold got a drink and checked my email.
I should not have done the latter. There was a message from AP, who prompted by Der Bingle left a comment about loose meat burgers being steamburgers. I knew I’d never heard of that, but then I’d never heard of anyone else’s loose meat burgers in the first place. Heavens to Betsey, there’s a place named Ted’s in Connecticut that was on an episode of Man vs.Food that featured the restaurant and steamburgers. Who knew? Not AJ.
Then I went back to sleep and dreamed all the dead people in my family were alive and crazy and being driven even crazier by a long-lost really crazy elderly great-aunt, who had come to visit in her huge vintage convertible.
I was in the dream and suppose I was crazy too, considering I went out one door, got lost and climbed back in the house by hoisting myself up to a porch floor that had grown way higher than the top step leading to it. Had to somersault through a wooden screen door, I think.
That’s when I found out everyone had gone so crazy they wigged out and the old aunt stomped out with her unknown husband in tow and drove off.
When I went to sleep last evening, I had been thinking of a Shakespeare quote. I think it triggered, To sleep, perchance to dream. Tonight I’ll think of Yogi Berra. No, then I’ll dream last night’s dream all over again.

I shuffled along the little asides of the Iowa Caucuses and saw this article about the sandwich below and almost dropped my drawers. Not really.

These things are real?? Several years ago I was browning some ground round and Cameron came in and asked for a hamburger. I looked at his seven or eight year old face, smiled and on the spur of the moment offered him a “loose” meat sandwich. I MADE IT UP. AND HE BOUGHT IT. So, for years, I would palm them off on him.
Just recently I was thinking about his finding out this wasn’t something you could order in a restaurant. Well, guess what? Of course, the idea of the AJ loose meat sandwich is to brown and thoroughly drain and pat dry ground round or ground sirloin or Laura Lean. Buffalo also makes an excellent loose meat sandwich.
So, Cameron, if you every see a Maid-Rite sandwich, remember: This is NOT your Grandmother’s Loose Meat Sandwich. You order a Made Correctly.

I got a little email from LZP, the fellow who dispatched the Gnomdelionian Ambassador to our little blessed plot of earthly realm, giving me a source of information on folk remedies. Of course, THIS PLACE RIGHT HERE talks about the beneficial effects of dandelions for medicinal purposes. You know about medicinal: Oh, let’s just have a nip of the Ole Yellow for _____. Hint: it works for about anything.

To get my attention, LZP added a little caricature. This one.

I STILL have a stomach that has a poked bruise feeling when I eat anything . . . and I STILL need to stay near to the bathroom. But I do feel better, really.
This is a stubborn flu. Try not to get it, and if you do, know that we who have gone before you are sympathizing.

This morning I got up feeling so-so and went about tasks for people who felt less than so-so. Then, about 2pm, I started thinking “Uh, no. No more chills please; no more waves of fatigue. No-no-no-no.” But there I was, on the sofa, under a blanket and two afghans, my body pulled up into a ball.

After a while, I felt better and went out to the kitchen for crackers; then I sat down and did sudokus and surfed the internet and read my Kindle . . . all with the undercurrent of vague apprehension.

About an hour ago, out of the blue, I realized I was hungry. SO I HOPPED UP. I scanned the refrigerator for real food and scarfed it down. I guess the little invaders had tried one last attack before my AmeliaJake defenders planted the AJ flag on high ground.

Good job, guys. It’s V-AJ Day. (Well, maybe I’ll knock on the flagpole for good measure.)