I’m calling this Day One because it simplifies things. Actually, this is the first day after my Maytag Bravos washer – purchased in October of last year – was declared a mess, due to defective seal leaking onto the transmission by an approved certified Maytag repairman. It took about a week to get said repairman here, but we’ll start with today as the the official Maytag ‘actual repair countdown.

Of course, it is early in the morning and they will have all day to call me and talk about fixing it. After all, I online chatted with a representative as soon as the repairman left and this is the age of zip, zip, zip communication.

I could be feeling sarcastic; that last sentence doesn’t indicate contentment. I also could be feeling P_____ Off, but maybe the cranberry juice I’m drinking will help that. Oh, yeah, sarcasm.

Ah yes, the old hurry up and wait and then do it again routine. As I wrote earlier, my Maytag Bravos started screeching and I had to wait for an authorized, certified Maytag repairman. I waited about a week. He came on one of those “all day appointments” – you have to be available all day and if you are not, toooooo bad.

Well, finally he gets here and he starts the machine and it screeches; he tilts it up and shines a light under it and does this whirring thing with an automatic screwdriver or undriver as it were, and says the transmission is a mess. A seal in the tub leaked water and there you go . . .

He has to report it; then there is the wait for parts; it may have to go to the shop; Maytag doesn’t want to pay for that. Sigh

The repairman, who is older, maybe close to my age, then starts rubbing his chest and wincing. I’m thinking . . . Well, you know what I’m thinking. He asks for a glass of water and says that helps. The pain is perhaps esophageal. I didn’t delay him with a bunch of washer questions.

I log into my Maytag account and “chat” with a representative. Do you know they are very polite online and tell you how terribly sorry they are that your four month old machine failed catastrophically. And, no, your warranty doesn’t cover just swapping it out for a replacement. That would save the company too much money, of course; better to have workmen try to patch it together. Yes, the come part – that will take a while and they don’t want to send more than one man and the machine has to be completely taken apart.

It will be laundromat time for moi; I will probably be writing a continuing lamentation about Maytag reliability and service. Now there’s a muse for you.

I didn’t really skip Valentine’s Day; I was here. What happened is that I decided to give myself a Valentine treat by doing nothing. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I just dropped my grandson off at the Strand Theater here in town. He’s seeing Deadpool, which probably isn’t my cup of tea, but then we both like Casablanca and classic movies, so it’s not like we can’t talk about anything.

It’s kind of ironic because just a couple of days ago I was telling someone about the old-fashioned, but clean and renovated theater we have here, thanks to Bruce Babbitt. I interviewed him a long time ago and, he really deserves the town’s thanks.

Matinee prices are $3 – and for the evening shows, the price is $4.50. The Martian was here soon after it came out. Star Wars was here when it opened. Did I mention my grandson wore Star Wars themed pants to stand in line for the movie?

Popcorn refills are 75 cents; I think pop refills are a quarter. YOU CANNOT BEAT HIS PRICES.

There are times when people do not realize how lucky they are in the smaller things in life.

Bigger city movie multiples may have lots of bells and whistles, but the Strand is an example of America at its best.

I have talked to a service representative and my problem with the screeching washer is covered by a warranty. Yes. Yes. Yes. She was very nice and was talking from Tennessee. We went through all sorts of troubleshooting scenarios, such as humming noises and beeping and leveling and my screech was not in the manual.

The people who came running from all over the house will be glad to know that. IAM GLAD TO KNOW THAT. WARRANTY!!!!!
Almost as good as CHUNKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, this is just great. i bought a MAYTAG because I had one that worked for a quarter of a century. This MAYTAG BRAVOS has started grinding gears or whatever after a few months. And reviews written about MAYTAG BRAVOS are now calling it a disaster, a piece of junk, something only suited as a boat anchor.

Did I mention this washer is a MAYTAG BRAVOS?

We have one of those newer washers that has no agitation blades in the center. What it does have is a narrow crevice at the bottom of the tub. That crevice can catch coins, and when one is just the right shape, it will cause a horrendous screech as part of the washing process engages.

That just happened and I found out part two of this problem; a coin can slip all the way down in the crevice where it can’t be seen and the only thing you can do is take a very skinny knife and slide it around, flipping the end upward every few inches of the circumference. It took a few trips around, but finally a worn penny arced up in the air.

Because this coin was hidden, I had to take out all the clothes to be able to do a full investigation. Usually, you can see the offender sticking an arc of his little round head up.

Gee, it was a fun time.

I was all worried about Peyton Manning and then, BOOM, what happened to the Super Bowl commercials? There were no Budweiser horses with puppies, trainer or little colts. What the heck?

And three of the commercials were for medicine: constipation, diarrhea and aches. I particularly was taken by the diarrhea spokesman – who (what?) looked like a Pepto-Bismol colored garden hose twisted into a giant knot with a face and and legs. Maybe there were arms; I don’t remember.

But, at least Manning won.

I woke up this morning thinking that Peyton Manning will either feel really good or bummed out tomorrow morning. When I opened the regular newspaper, right along the banner was the comment that Manning legacy was on the line today.

I cannot get a good reading on my psychic-o-meter and so I wait nervously.

I sat in my house and I watched Zombie Beavers, one of those ridiculous shows my grandson is famous for finding. I’m not certain how it happened; first he came out and asked if I wanted to watch Sharknado 3 and I replied I would rather be hit over the head repeatedly with a chunk of firewood. So he sighed and said it would be Zombie Beavers.

I didn’t really catch what he said and when a few minutes later I wandered through to get something, I was struck by the scenery. I asked what he was watching and he told me and I was incredulous; it seemed impossible anyone would make such a movie, let alone watch it . . . and so I sat down.

Well, I’ll be darned if someone didn’t spend a bit of money on decent sets, sort of decent, and then have beavers and people turn into zombie beavers. It was as if shock held me in my seat. I even ate popcorn.

As the credits rolled, they showed outtakes and one was of the little dog swimming with the fake beavers and the director yelling, “THE DOG IS SUPPOSED TO BE AFRAID OF THEM.”

I hope I do not dream tonight and eat my way through a door or coffee table or the teak elephant my husband brought back from Thailand that can serve as a seat or an end table. (There is a story about him and his crew wrangling said elephant into the bag of a Thai cab, but I’ll leave that for him to tell. It ain’t light-weight. He also has stories about mongoose and cobra fights – they take the teeth out of the mongoose to make it more fair. I’d probably faint headfirst into the combat pit. Now there’s a nightmare for you.)