I am up here alone – Der Bingle is feeling well enough to go downstairs and had an egg salad sandwich and tomato soup and while I puttered around in the kitchen and crawled under the tree with sustaining water, he plopped his leg up on a chair and talked with Summer. They are still talking. And up here FOX NEWS is talking in the bedroom . . . to itself. Now, I didn’t like Der Bingle being ill, but, you know, when he was anchored by leg pain, I knew where he was all the time. I had the exalted status of Urinal Provider. This sort of reminds me of what happens when a little kid learns to walk  – “Oh, God, what is he up to now?”

After two weeks of cuddling his new robe I purchased the second day in the hospital like a security blanket, he now is wearing it. He looks a bit like a fleece teddy bear. A fleece teddy bear with fluffy hair. We had a talk about that today. In the past few years as he has grown older and his hair grown sparser – oh, and rue the day Summer told him about the secret bald spot –  he has fussed with combing it to look its best. Only he has been combing it when it is quite wet. With this interlude, I realized that letting it air dry after being toweled let the roots spring up and the curls reassert themselves. I said, “Hey, your hair looks bigger and better.” He frowned at me. But it’s true.

Always a blond, the greying of his hair wasn’t too noticeable. I think it looks platinum now – curly platinum; we will see if he keeps the look or not. Actually, I think he spent so much of his life taming his curls that he can’t believe they are his styling friend now.

But here is LZP sending a cheery photo to the local sickie. It seems to be working.

Yes, at nine in the evening I have felt a little oomph in my body, as opposed to a little ooph. Yesterday was busy with a trip to the doctor’s office which involved a really big wheelchair and a pulled-over desk to support the leg. After Dr. Warrener looked at it, he sent us to the laboratory down the hall and around the corner. “You know where it is, don’t you?” he asked. Well, yes I did. It was in the same place it was when I was in there with Mother. I was stressed I guess and my mouth quivered and tears dropped down my cheeks.

But the lab news was good and now we wait for the leg to clear of clots and the pain to subside. Speaking of pain medicine, Der Bingle told him he would appreciate a pepperoni pizza as much as anything . . . so after I got him home and Cameron over to the dentist, I brought home two from Little Caesars. Poor Cameron – he came home with a numb mouth.

We have been using the shaved ice feature on the refrigerator – something I thought would just be a fad – quite a bit with this illness. A tall glass of shaved ice with a straw struck in and then a gatorade product or iced tea poured in works well for when it comes to both cool and soothing. Of course, you just have to remember to stick the straw in before you pour in the liquid.

That refrigerator is part of all that has happened this fall. When Mother died, and I mean when she died – like right after the hospice nurse pronounced her and the funeral home came for her – we sent Robert and Cameron to a movie and Der Bingle and Summer and Alison and I drove over to the Sears store here and bought a refrigerator.  What were we going to do? Sit there in the house and stare at each other. Summer was only two months into the being 13 business. I think Der Bingle opted for the shaved ice one because of her. And he himself liked the bowed out shiny black front. I remember I started feeling a little shaky and sat down at a table while they filled out the paperwork. I wondered whatever was I doing, buying a refrigerator right after Mother had died. But I think Summer remembers two separate things: my mother dying and the day we got the refrigerator. And it is good we have shaved ice.

This is a heck of a post, not really saying what I mean in the best way. And now I must add: If I die tonight, do NOT go out and buy a Jenn-Aire stove; they are not of the quality they were 10-15 years ago, according to various reviews. Just order a new burner cassette, they still make them.

We got back from the hospital yesterday afternoon, at least a day earlier than we expected; the doctor in charge had determined one blood chemical level at which Der Bingle was to reach before being discharged, but another doctor  – slam, bam, thank you, ma’am – had him discharged and “out of the computer” before he could even get a travelling home pain shot. I didn’t blog angry last night; you aren’t supposed to do that. And I guess that is all I will say about it now.

Today I decorated the tree in the sitting room; last year we skipped it – I suppose shingles had something to do with it. But today, with Der Bingle lying in the bed in  the master bedroom I unwrapped each ornament put them all up. I can’t find the little embroidery piece I always hang . . . I suppose it is leaning on a bookcase somewhere in one of the two rooms. The lights are colored LED and they look vibrant and rich; I don’t light the clear LED lights – to me they seem like cold, painful, glaring, impersonal modern headlights. Not a bit of gold in them.

I’m tired, I think. So tomorrow I will think.

I’ve been spending the week in Fort Wayne at Parkview Hospital with Der Bingle who dealing with a blood clot in his leg. Knock on wood, I think he’s better today so I came up here for personal hygiene and new clothes and a Sydney check up . . . and now I have to go.

Alison and Summer erected a small tree on a table in the den. I am bracing myself to look at it; their taste is different from mine. They have a thing for lights – lots of them. We won’t mention ornaments. I know. I know. It is supposed to be about the spirit of the season – a family bonding activity. Last year I stepped back when it came to the big real tree and ended up considering it funky. I sort of could not stand to look at that tree. I think this year I will throw good will and Christmas spirit to the wind and decorate it as tastefully as I can – for Mother and for me.

I don’t know – it is as if someone threw Christmas festivity and good cheer into a blender with coal and humbug and this is what came out – AmeliaGrinch.