Ha! Just two days ago, we here at The Peanut Butter Cafe & Roadhouse made some observations, buttressed with police reports, about Beto O’Rourke.
Well, although we are miffed enough to find all sorts of puns filling our heads, we find that none can match the sophistication level of Mr. O’Rourke’s poem. Here’s part of it, see if you agree he has set the bar so low it is in a hole.
I need a butt-shine,
Right now
You are holy,
Oh, sacred Cow
I thirst for you,
Provide Milk.Buff my balls,
Love the Cow,
Good fortune for those that do.
Love me, breathe my feet,
The Cow has risen.Wax my ass,
Scrub my balls.
The Cow has risen,
Provide Milk.
Oh, by the way, if he’s a hack at poetry, look at the this article on his actual hacking. If the link doesn’t work, here is part of it:
‘I need a butt-shine. Wax my a**, scrub my balls. The Cow has risen.’ Bizarre poem Beto O’Rourke wrote to a COW when he was a computer hacker who posted fiction about killing children is revealed
Democrats’ newest presidential was member of hacker group called Cult of the Dead Cow and called himself Psychedelic Warlord, he will admit in a new book
He posted on ‘bulletin boards’ – primitive equivalents of websites – and has left some of his writing intact
One story when he was 15 described running over two children in the street and said: ‘I just sat in a daze, sweet visions filling my head.’
Also wrote a poem called ”The Song of the Cow’ in 1988 which said: ‘Wax my a**, Scrub my balls.’ Scroll down to read it in full
Group stole credit card and calling card details to avoid running up large phone bills on modems which would have been a potential felony at the time
O’Rourke admitted he pilfered long-distance service ‘so I wouldn’t run up the phone bill’ but did not admit whether that involved credit or phone card fraud
Democrat says in new book that Cult of the Dead Cow taught him how to be ‘apart from the system and look at it critically and have fun while you’re doing it’
Group also posted pirated software, tools to hack Windows computers and distributed an essay called ‘Sex with Satan’
Members later tried to keep O’Rourke’s hacking past secret when he ran for El Paso city council