Ack, ack, and double ack.

A few years ago I lost enough weight for people to notice, for me to feel better and, and as a result, I looked a bit more like my mother, who was very good looking. I kept the weight off for more than a little while and then in the past months, I have put it all back on.

So I have to do it ALL OVER AGAIN – or eat myself into a ball with my head and limbs being little nubs. Even as a “near ball”, which might or might not be akin to near beer, I couldn’t be a first class roller. My little nubs would keep me on an erratic course.

Believe me, I am not thrilled about this. It puts me in the position of 1) just doing a Nancy Reagan “Just say NO” or 2) manipulating my mind into little motivational tricks to keep my mouth closed.

Perhaps this is punishment for watching “600 lb. Life” and criticizing enablers only to enable myself to scarf down pinwheel sandwiches and cheese balls with cheddar pretzels. I have this great talent for knowing when the pinwheel sandwiches are going to be marked at half price . . . and I have paid the price.

It’s not like this happened overnight; I saw the trend and thought Oh, I’ll get this in line. Well, that was a big, fat lie to myself. Gee, look how easily the adjective fat pops up in my expressions.

This is sort of like taking a semester length course and then reading all the material the night before the final. Oh, you tell yourself if fate will let you get a “B” at least, you will always keep up with coursework. And you turn around and do it over and over again. It is a big, fat character flaw. And I am on my way to becoming a Fatty McFatFat.