I may or may not have done anything yesterday besides sit around thinking I should be doing something. Today is starting out the same. It may be a phase . . . or the start of a urinary tract infection.

No more jokes; I just remembered what happened last evening that I think I have tried to repress. On the way over to the nursing home, approaching an awkward curving railroad overpass, the speed limit drops. I was at the end of a line of cars, not overly close together, when I realized we were slowing way down. I’ve seen a lot of police cruisers parked along my routes lately and I immediately thought a driver ahead had spotted one.

The slowdown was more than a nonchalantly “you didn’t see me, officer” thing. Car distances closed
and there was minor swerving; but on that stretch of road, on that overpass approach, you don’t swerve much – you just can’t. All I could see out the windshield was the back of the car in front of me. Then I heard something hit my wheel; I thought a frozen clod of snow had fallen from the undercarriage of a car; I glanced in the rear window immediately and saw an animal, I think a dog, lying on the road. I wasn’t the first to hit it, but I don’t know if it was already dead when I did.

A guy in a pick up had already pulled over; Mrs. Feller was waiting for me. I went on, just like they say – life goes on, but, damn it, sometimes it should pause.