I think my nose is growing and not because I am lying. I can feel it expanding. I look in the mirror and it is the same, so I have decided my nose is like Snoopy’s doghouse – it expands internally through some not yet understandable aspect of physics. Right now, I think Rockettes may be dancing in there, kicking my sinus areas and tickling the inside of my nasal passages with their feathers.

A lot of my friends here don’t understand my remarks. Most of them look like this:

Actually, they try not to talk about my nose, unless they are in a snit with me and then a snide remark or two may crop up. Sometimes I tell them it’s so much easier for them to window shop than it is for me . . . and then they get surly. I would say they get their noses out of joint . . . but, you know.