I have been having trouble with my cell phone lately – the battery charge would last about an hour and then the phone would turn itself off. I got an email from Der Bingle which said, “Get a new battery or get a new phone.” Of course, I managed to get a new phone – an iphone. It is a sleek black thing in a white sturdy case called an Otter Box. They tell me a truck can run over it. It looks clunky. My granddaughter noticed the big box lying on the table by me and remarked about a new phone. And then she decided it couldn’t be because it was so big. I assured her there was a black sleek thing inside . . . and we both kind of looked at each other.

It does look as if I am carrying around a handheld game set. BUT they tell me it is waterproof  – I guess as much as it can be. Being safe from wet hands and sweat is a good deal for me, since when I am out with noisy things, I like to have it next to me so I can feel the vibration. But here is my embarrassing problem. You don’t have to brace yourself for graphic content because there is none. That has been a bit of a problem to me, actually, but no need to go into that angst.

I am extremely flat-chested. I mean really, really flat-chested. Still, I could get away with sticking my old phone into what we call my “baby bras”  – frankly, I might as well put something there. Now, though, with this big clunky box, I don’t think that’s going to work . . . Maybe I can tell people it’s my pacemaker/defibrillator.