It was about 3:15 when I woke up, not because I couldn’t sleep but because I already had. I should do something such as stay lying down and daydream beneath closed eyes. My imagination is off, though, and the thought kept recurring that I was lying there bored. So I got up and got a drink and (more than you need to know) went to the bathroom. In just a minute it will be four a.m. and that’s technically a morninsh time rather than a middle of the night time.

I remember that’s “prepare the turkey for the roaster” time on some Thanksgivings – especially the ones my mother and grandmother were in charge of. I doubt that will be the case ten days from now. ACK! Ten Days!?? Wait a minute, where IS that darn roaster?

I guess this is the time of year when I fantasize about buying an outdoor turkey fryer, mainly because I think Thanksgiving should have fireworks like the Fourth of July – which could be accomplished by lowering a frozen turkey into the hot oil from a second floor window. But, dontcha know, turkey has to be well-cooked and I’m not sure exploding would thoroughly do it. Besides people would be really upset about getting their serving from bushes, the fence and whatever else is out there .  . . once the novelty wore off.

We could have a banner:

FIND YOUR TURKEY AND BE THANKFUL

Of course, we’d have to explode a steak for the dog.