I was not much of a texter on my phone, and so when the screen got a blob on it, it was not a big deal. And then when Summer started sending me texts and I could make out the word “cops” and not much more, I decided I should upgrade. (As it was, she had texted:” I am going to raid the fridge and the cops can’t stop me.”)

Anyway, Der Bingle has had Sprint forever and, bit by bit, we have the Everything Plan, although he refers to it as the everything under the blanking sun plan. Since I was qualified to upgrade, I selected a Samsung Instinct s30 – it’s trimmed in copper, dontcha know. Well, it is completely touchscreen. Yes, isn’t that thrilling? I purchased a new ringer – Moonlight Sonata – for it and the Digital Lounge at Sprint pointed out that this ringer needed vision. No prob, right? I have everything, right?

I get the text message telling me what to do to download it to my little copper-kissed Samsung Instinct s30 and guess what? I was told to push the “Option” button and then “Go”. Ha! Like where are these buttons on the touchscreen ? Not there, that’s where. I thought to myself  that I must have everything but vision. I looked at my plan and I didn’t see vision listed . . . but, according to the info, I would have to have vision to have the web.

I checked with the internet and latched onto a hint to go to “FUN” (are we having any yet?) and then to “SHOPPING”. I don’t know what happened; I didn’t find options or go or anything, but somehow I got the ringer to download. And now I am waiting for someone to call me so I can relax to the strains of Moonlight Sonata.

I did look at the all-screen phone and decide to get the phone insurance. I may need it because I might get so frustrated I throw it. SPRINT: I AM ONLY KIDDING. I will not throw, stomp, drown nor eat this phone.