Just Me - AmeliaJake

To tree or not to tree

September 5, 2008 AmeliaJake

**Not to panic . . . not really a Christmas post**

For several years, we have been putting Christmas trees in several windows – upstairs and down. It started when I bought our first artificial tree back in maybe 1997 when I was in a funk because the weather was too bad for my folks to come down and for us all to go to Fort Wayne. So, I went to the old Wal-Mart and bought a fake tree on sale. I brought it home, took it upstairs to the sitting room and opened the box. I thought, “What have I done?” It looked like a pole with sticks angled on it. I caught on after a while to the fact you were supposed to free the branches from their squashed shipping posItion and it looked a little better.

That’s the tree on which I started hanging the broken and worn-out ornaments, the kitchen utensils and things that weren’t Christmas tree ornaments but were things that I liked to look at. It is THE SITTING ROOM TREE.

Then I bought another on sale and when my grandchildren came to live with me, I had a frenzy period.

And somewhere along the line, family members got depressed and sick and upset and didn’t want Christmas and I wound up decorating as if I could chase and catch good cheer. Well, you can’t. I decided last year not to do it, but I did.

Now, my daughter-in-law who is a nurse has come home on two or three ocassions and said that patients, on learning where she lives, have remarked how they look forward to seeing the trees in the windows. She could be lying through her teeth; I don’t know.

I don’t know if I am going to do it or not . . . but I did go up and sort out all the artificial branches. Maybe there are people out there who like to see them, who like the twinkling of the lights in the windows at night. People who look at them and feel a moment or so of good cheer. Perhaps keeping Christmas well for them will an act of good cheer and spirit for me.

Well, at least I will do the sitting room tree, the first one – the one that reminds me of people I have loved . . . and in one way or another are here no more.

Oh, yeah, I guess I’ll put an ornament made out of duct tape on it

***Jody Lynn Vance: 1985-2011***

Jody was born at sunrise on a bright, sunny, cold, snowy Groundhog’s Day and from Day One she was a gift to everyone around her. Her infectious laugh and rambunctious spirit made her the center of attention where ever she happened to be.

She and her Dad would watch Sesame Street and sing at the top of our voices (and quite out of key) all of the songs. She enjoyed having Mom fix her hair so it was fancy and just right.

As a toddler she had quite an impressive vocabulary and often had a lot to say. One time Dad was headed out the door to go to work and she pointed her finger and said, “No. No. No. Don’t go anywhere!“

Jody was very seldom crabby, always happy and she wasted no time in spreading that joy to everyone around her. Jody’s favorite place was to be perched on the lap of Mom or Dad or playing with her toys spread out all over the floor. Jody was always affectionate, wanting hugs and “moochies” as she called smooches on the cheek.

At around two, Jody’s illness began to attack her. It took a beautiful, innocent child and put her through untold pain and suffering,

I know that through all of that she was not afraid. She had the heart and spirit of lion. She never gave up; time after countless time, she would open her eyes and there would come that smile. Jody lost her speech, but never was at a loss for words. She could say more with a look or a half smile than most people do yakking all day long.

After numerous doctor, hospital, and specialist visits, we were given the news of her illness. I remember that moment frozen in time … it was as if the entire world stopped. It was in that brief moment we both knew that we must make the very most of the time we had remaining together and not dwell on the despair of all of the things that would never be.

Jody was not expected to live more than three or so - but she had too many things to do and stories to tell, so she cruised by that birthday and over two more decades of birthdays, Christmases and millions of smiles and hugs. Jody was well-liked by other kids; once when she was being wheeled into her classroom at Handicare, one of the children yelled, “Hey everybody, Jody’s here” and all the kids cheered.

Two of the biggest joys in her life were her two little brothers, Joey and Sammy. She would just beam with joy when they would sit next to her and when they began to get older she’d love to listen to them running through the house and playing together. The two of them would start laughing and Jody would laugh right along with them. She would listen intently to everything they did and they would include her as often as they could. The three of them loved watching Saturday morning cartoons and The Three Stooges.

Joe and Sam did without a lot of things that other kids had, did and took for granted … and they never once complained or were resentful of the way things were. That shows a special kind of love and a special kind of family.

As the years went by and the boys grew up into strong and healthy, Jody’s health slowly and steadily declined. She would have long stretches where she was fairly stable and then would become so very ill.

Many times we were sure the end was near and then she would open those sparkling blue eyes and stretch just like nothing had happened at all.

Once she was in the hospital with her usual bout of pneumonia and lapsed into a coma; this went on for 8 days. One Dr. came in, examined her and just shook his head. Later that night Jody’s eyes popped open and she was refreshed from her cat- nap.

People over the years have commented, ”I don’t know how you do it. ”This always struck me as odd. My thoughts would always be: How could you even think of turning your back on someone who needs you that much?

It was always our promise to Jody that she would always live at home with her family and I think she found comfort in knowing that.

But, no one person can take the credit for caring for this wonderful young woman. It has taken an army of doctors, nurses, teachers, aides, pharmacists, friends, and family over the years to maintain Jody at home, and we could never begin to thank you enough.

Jody always kept her head held high and never seemed to be afraid; she has truly been my inspiration on many occasions. When things were gloomy and seemed hopeless, just one smile and a hug was all I needed to go on. Jody will always be my hero. I love her and will treasure the time we had together.

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