It is October 16th

This is LZP’s birthday and the stretched out and fun-appreciating (maybe pranks) celebration I had planned was derailed by an extended “rainy day” period. But I was ready to go full steam last week-end – priority mail and all that.

Then Shane got sick and died. A dog. I know that is what some would think. Just a dog. Well, to quote John Wayne, “Not hardly.”

Shane was a very special dog, not just because of who he was in his actions and behavior but because of the link he was to other people. To hug Shane was to hug the others who had loved him.

A dog, and yet I feel as if my world has collapsed. I am aware  of all the realities of the situation – aware of the horrific struggles people are faced with, but my gut hurts so bad and I can’t think my way out of it. I understand there is nothing to be gained by wallowing in this weird grief; but that’s what’s odd about it – it is like quicksand, not like the mud I have slogged through before.

Perhaps so many goodbyes are wrapped up in this one; I don’t know.