Lists of symptoms

Of course there have always been little articles in magazines – especially the old Reader’s Digests – focusing on a condition, psychological or physical and posing a series of questions to see where you fit on the “I’m okay for the next few months” vs. “I’m going to die tomorrow” or “I will probably make it through life without murdering someone” vs. “Gee, where did I leave the butcher knife?”

Okay, it wasn’t usually that dramatic, but you get the idea. And now with the Internet. Saints preserve us. “Ten signs you might be _______. Circle a number between 1 and 5.” And then there are the online IQ tests, which I don’t talk about since I once took one and got a 76. I think it’s time to move on now . . .

Or maybe not, because I have to find a list that asks this question: If your glass is too full to hold any more ice cubes, do you you stick four or five in your pocket for later? Yes, I did this – this very morning. It actually worked out fine, well, if you don’t count the lint in my sweatshirt’s pouch pocket. It just seems a bit off; but is it crazy or (76) stupid slow?

Oh, good night, nurse . . . a couple of the folks here put up their little hands and asked if “both of the above” is a possible answer. Makes me want to bang my head against the wall . . . which could explain the 76, come to think of it. A little redhead reading over my shoulder just asked in awe, “You can think?”

Ah, here’s a hint to my purpose in life: Shane just dropped a Wubba in my lap.