Colonoscopy

While I am here and before I wander over to play a game . . . yes I know I said I had that out of my system, but fate had other ideas.  Actually, while I am here and before I chicken out, I am going to tell you I will be posting about the preparation for and participation in a colonoscopy. You’re thrilled, right? Well, neither am I.

I wnt in on Friday for the introductory appointment. The doctor and his nurses are very nice. He’s from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and plays the piano, the keys of which he probably enjoys tickling more than . . . well, I’ll let it go at that.

I am told the procedure is not a problem because you have a type of sedation where you are aware what is going on but you remember nothing. I asked the nurse if they had ever had some patient not remember the fact that he/she yelled, “Heck, no, get me off of this table.” I am afraid of making a fool of myself, but then, I do believe it would be more foolish not to have it done. Easy talk when the actual appointment time hasn’t even been set yet.

I do have to not eat and drink this unpleasant liquid. I suspect I will be aware of and remember that. I do get to eat all the jell-o I want.

I wonder if for the sake of complete coverage, I should have a little tape recorder running during the part I won’t remember. I will probably spend the day prior convincing myself I am the essence of John Wayne: Little lady, you just go ahead and shove that up  . . .

Oh, I wonder if I will walk like John Wayne after. Now, that’s TWO worries.