Estee Lauder – you owe my granddaughter a thanks . . . maybe

A lot of days, my granddaugher tells me how ugly I am; this does not lift my spirits, but usually I ignore it. But today I had been doing some of that dastardly housework stuff that just is so annoying and she comes in through the back vestibule, rings the doorbell for no reason and walks over to me to announce, “You’re ugly, Grandma.” I grumbled and ignored her, but then when I went in to check my email, I saw a message I had been ignoring: free samples and free shipping with order. Okay, I took them up on it; I spent money I might have spent on her behalf on MINE.

I was thinking Estee Lauder should thank her for spurring me on to making a purchase . . . . but, since I have been using their products for almost four decades, perhaps my visage does not reflect well on them.

Waynoka Snake Hunt – Ack! – then Magnum Snake Hunt

(HA on me! It’s Mangum, not magnum. But now I can’t do the Dirty Harry part, so I’m going to pretend I didn’t realize my mistake.)

This morning I saw one of the Bayou Billy mugs that we have picked up over the years at the Apple Festival here in Kendallville; I prefer the Cherry Wine flavor, although I have branched out to try lemonade and grape. I thought I’d just check the site and see make certain they would be coming this year – and  check if they might be at the county fair.  So, here I am, scrolling down the calendar when I see Waynoka Snake Hunt. Nooooooooo! I have already given myself nightmares by stumbling on the Waurika Snake Hunt event.

For some reason, on this rattlesnake site, there is a picture of a python or anaconda . . . but since you know it is a rattlesnake site and you are thinking that way, when you first glance at the picture of that huge snake, you stop breathing. Of course, you start again because it’s only a picture and part of your mind is yelling, “not a rattlesnake, not a rattlesnake, not a rattlesnake.” Not a cool visual experience. I quickly clicked on the “About” page and saw this photo:

100_1293

Bayou Billy . . . what are you doing to me?

BUT WAIT.

Bayou Billy’s calendar also shows this event: Mangum Snake Hunt. These folks (Shortgrass Rattlesnake Association) have been doing this since 1966. And the picture on the main page is not a python. It is this one and it totally scares me.

preview-of-e2809cunnamed-documente2809d

They do have a nice, informative site and I found this phrase in the history section: “when snakes begin to slither out from their dens.”  I don’t know . . .  I think I would want Dirty Harry with me . . . with his Magnum, you know, the 44 one. The most powerful handgun one.

Bayou Billy apparently has a special brew for these events – Wild West Soda.  Maybe they add whiskey and snakebite anti-venom.

I do see that they are going to be at a marshmallow festival in Ligonier, Indiana . . . that seems more my speed.

Here are the thoughts first brought about by the Waurika Round-up:

Actually, I don’t know if I would feel compelled to go if I lived close enough . . . When I was little and we would go to a zoo, I always wanted to visit the reptiles first. Was that because I was so frightened of them I wanted to get it over or because I wanted to look at something which could freeze me with terror.

I think the fact that they don’t have legs bothers me the most – the fast, fast slithering and the head and upper body being able to spring forward in the blink of an eye. I guess arms on a human could snap forward and punch me in the nose pretty fast, but I don’t think about that for some reason.

I can’t remember not knowing about the Rudyard Kipling stories of cobras and the days of ropes that could be pulled to summon servants and a murderer putting a poisonous shake through the hole in the wall so it could crawl down the rope and bite a sleeping person. See, I am upset enough to write run-on sentences again.

When my grandfather was farming and they cut and baled hay, my uncle said there would always be a rattler in one of the bails . . . that was his least favorite job on the farm – helping with the hay bales. Rattlesnakes are scarce here now – although a hundred years ago when my grandmother moved into a house by a lake, the family discovered a snake nest in the cellar. One big snake crawled up into a wall and stuck his head out a hole in that wall. My grandmother used a broom to keep hitting it back until someone came, got a shotgun and blew its head off. Wait a minute – they fired a shotgun in the house? That seems odd. Well, desperate times lead to desperate measures, I suppose.

Maybe I would be drawn to the festival as I am sometimes drawn to watch scary movies. I might have to duct tape myself to a wall for that weekend to keep me from going. Yet, I live in an old house with a fruit cellar – what if a snake gnawed a hole in the wall right where I was taped? Oh, Lordy!

Now I am thinking that these Oklahomans just go out around where they live and find these snakes for the roundup. So for me, if I lived there, every day would be snake day. I would buy a shotgun, maybe two . . . and wear boots . . . and not sit in the grass.

I am a wimp . . . or Indiana Jonesette – Snakes! Why did it have to be snakes? I hate snakes!

Now, gummy worms . . . they’re pretty cool.