This is true: I am not going to stretch it even the tiniest bit; there is no reason to. I will not share the name because I have not asked permission, but I must tell this story because it is about True Spunk, as in True Grit.

Okay, it’s short, so don’t settle in for a long tale:

I know a lady who is 91 who knows another lady who is 94. Because the 91 year old injured her arm, she cannot drive and the 94 year old ferries her about 15 miles and back and forth to see her husband in a nursing home. Actually, it is a forth and back and forth and back set of trips because the driver lived in the same town as the nursing home, but the man’s wife lived 15 miles away. So she would go pick up her friend, take her to the nursing home, bring her back home and then go home herself.

A couple of days ago – in the middle of the forth and back trips, they went out to have a bite to eat. When they were getting back in the car, the 94 year old fell. The people from the restaurant came out and helped her up . . .  “Oh, I’m fine,” she said. She drove home and then returned to her house.

Later that evening, someone called to ask about her and she told them, “Ah, I’m here in bed all cozy with pillows.” Well, she was not. When her son came up in the morning, he discovered she had spent the night sitting on a kitchen chair with her head resting on her walker . . . because she could not walk.

He called the EMS and told her they would be there in 5 minutes. “Oh,” she said, “That is not long enough for me to get ready.” At the hospital, X-rays showed two cracks and a broken bone. She told her son, “Oh, I’ll just be here a day.”

For some reason I believe her.

I imagine she is asking, “Oh, can’t we just have that surgery as an out-patient?”

I can’t tell her name . . . but here is mine: WIMP.

I wrote about The Argyle Sweater last week after my son Quentin mentioned it to me. You can read what I wrote then HERE if you want, but you don’t have to. At any rate, I was looking for the comic online and going to The Argyle Sweater website didn’t do it for me – the same panel comes up, maybe the last one before Scott Hilburn went to official newspaper syndication or perhaps one of his favorites. It’s good; it’s the pinata one. I wanted more.

Now I did find today’s and the previous panels at one newspaper site, but when I checked the online version of the Chicago Tribune and The Los Angeles Times, I couldn’t find the comics. Maybe they are there, maybe not – perhaps you need a subscription. However, I did track The Argyle Sweater down at this part of uclick. Now, I don’t know if this link will take you to the panel published on the date you are looking . . . although, I guess I will know tomorrow. I suspect it will change with the date, just not betting my dog on it.

Today’s is great – the type of humor where you drop your head and kind of whimper.

I did notice that the target audience is 18-34. I am MUCH older than that; I just thought you should know.

On second thought, this isn’t the menu; this is the most popular item – the one slice FOLDED peanut butter sandwich. It is our signature offering and actually the identifying factor would be the folded over slice of bread. People specify different types of peanut butter and different kinds of bread, but the whole trick is to  spread the PB (and whatever use you might add – jelly?) on ONE half of a slice of bread and then you fold the bread over.

You do NOT cut it. You FOLD. Cutting would be not so much wrong, as just not right. People tend to look at sandwiches like that and pop “thought balloons” out of their heads. Once someone ordered our special but with the bread cut down the middle and the room was filled with thought balloons, exclaiming, “THAT SANDWICH AIN’T RIGHT!”

The direction of folding is determined by the shape of the bread slice. Usually, your basic sandwich bread folds from top to bottom, but we have some who do fold from side to side. An elongated slice, such as Vienna bread does, on the other hand, fold side to side as a rule.

We have chunky and creamy peanut butter – our house recipe, but some of our regulars bring in their own jars and we put their names on them and line them up on a shelf. Every now and then, someone will come in and pull a piece of bread in a sandwich bag our of his pocket and tell us to use that for his “foldover”.

One day we stuck two slices of bread together with PB in the middle and cut the crust off – kind of a fear factor thing. Anyone to order one AND eat it won a free bottle of vintage Pokagon Soda Pop from our cellar.